LESSONS FROM THE FIRST HALF

Dear diary,


Its the last day of the first half of the year. Hmmm… how time flies. 2013 started with mixed feelings for me because I didn’t know how I would face the year. At the beginning of the year, I had a lot of things on my plate to achieve. Some were carried over from last year but I was determined to move forward. Being an undergraduate, academics was and is still a priority. Combining school with other extracurricular activities can be really stressful especially when you are not a guru at multi-tasking because at a point, failure in one aspect looks like failure in all aspects even when you are not doing so badly.

Six months may seem like a really short time to learn things that will be useful throughout your life time but trust me it seemed like forever. However I have learnt some valuable stuff that I would like to share. Here are a few:

A book and its cover:
 A human being is like a book. The physical attributes and character that we see can be likened to the cover of a book, while the inner mind of a human is the replica of the content and pages of that book. The people who look innocent most times are the guilty ones while the ones that look guilty are actually sheeps in wolf clothing. Moral of the story is: don’t judge a book by its cover.

Beneath that smile:
Always happy, not saying much. Smiles at every greeting. People have a lot of issues within and around them but because of how desperately wicked the heart of man is, they cannot share their problems. They bottle it up inside them and even though they cry in their private time, they still manage to smile back when you greet. To me these are the strongest set of beings to walk this earth. Can you see beneath that smile?

 I.O.U’s:
 It means exactly that.. I Owe You. You must have at least one of them in your life. Always asking about your wellbeing and granting you unmerited favours and support. Well in the end they usually want something in return, something you can’t part with. Other than our father in heaven, I am yet to come across one that would have a persons interest at heart in all aspects without wanting something in return. The stories are all the same. They may not collect it immediately and years may roll by but surely they’ll be back.

Doing it well:
“Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well, make hay while the sun shines, a stitch in time save nine… e.t.c.” Very popular proverbs that still apply to this day and time. If you are going to do something, you might as well do it well. If you have set your mind on a task, do not be lazy about it. Put in all your efforts to produce a fantastic result that you can be proud of. Only then can you sit back in your rocking chair and say to yourself “not bad, not bad at all”

Setting priorities:
Don’t jumble things together hoping they would sort themselves out. Set your priorities. Know what you want and do not want. Life is easier to live when you take one step at a time. Identify your priorities so you won’t be likened to the man that knows he is sick with leprosy, but he abandons it to look for a cure for that tiny patch of eczema on his skin… Seriously?!

I learnt quite a lot but that’s the little I can share. I am walking into the second half with my eyes wide open, expecting anything. I’m taking my lessons with me ready to battle it out this time. Remember the routine of a football match. The players play the first half and go in during half-time to re-strategise. They come back in the second half more aggresive, ready to win at all costs not minding what the opposing teams throws at them. (Just like Italy and Uruguay are struggling for third place at the confederations cup at the moment….goodluck guys )

It dosent really matter what you set as your new years resolution at the beginning of the year, half time is almost up. Re-strategise and enter the second half of the year battle ready. Above all things, be wise.

Impossibility is nothing!

Gracias

THE LONG WAIT

When a man and a woman come together in marriage, it is usually in accordance with the scripture that says "go ye into the world and multiply". During the wedding ceremony the couple recieves a lot of prayers from the guests at the ceremony. Topping the list of these prayers is the gift of children. In the past, children were the main reason why people got married. The general belief then was that at least 1 year after the wedding, the cry of a baby should be heard in the house and incidentally, that was the norm in those days. Polygamy was rampant back in the day and so children filtered each compound like ants. Seasons change they say. Now there is a rapid increase in infertility in the land. lnfertility refers to the biological inability of a person to contribute to conception. It may arise from the man, the woman or even the couple as a whole.

Infertility can be extremely difficult emotionally and when getting pregnant takes longer than expected, it can be very depressing. In this part of the world when a couple cannot give birth to a child, the woman is at the receiving end. She is blamed for all the problems and mishaps trailing the family just because they have no children. The woman is pushed to do unimaginable things. She goes from one native doctor to another, from one oracle to another seeking help. There she is told that the problem is from the witches coven in her village, how they tied her womb with chains and threw the key into a bottomless pit. She is asked to drink all sorts of concotion, stand naked in the midnight and carry different bowls of sacrifice on her head. She ematiates, looks dejected, depression sets in and she is almost loosing her mind because pressure is mounting on her. She asks herself in her quiet time... "What is wrong with me?... Who is doing this to me??". She may even go to the extent of paying huge sums of money for "miracle babies" that she would never see. Husbands are supposed to be supportive of their wives during this period but some women are unfortunate to have the devil marrying them. Such husbands join forces with the extended family and literally send the woman to her early grave. Then science came along the way.

Thank God for science you might add. Recent day studies and research has shown that men may also be responsible for infertility. The exact cause of Infertility is not known but Low sperm count, cryptochidism, cancer of the testes, trauma bto the testes, smoking, alcoholism are some of the risk factors of infertlity in men. For the women: multiple abortions, fibroid, endometrial cancer are some of the factors attributed to infertility. The days of blaming the woman for the couples infertility are slowly fading away as people are becoming wiser. Now the husbands readily go with their wives to the hospital to undergo series of tests to determine the actual cause of their infertility and seek solutions to the problem. Such solutions include fertility treatments such as GIFT (gamete intra-fallopian transfer), IVF (In-vitro fertilization) and ICSI (intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection) to enable them have children. The probability of success in these treatments is between 25% - 35% and the cost of such treatments is not pocket friendly for the average citizen especially in this part of the world. When trying to conceive with these ferility treatments and the monthly menstruation period comes, whatever hope you had will be squashed instantly... talk about a morale killer. Adoption is also an option especially when all other efforts have failed.

The infertility complaint is usually rampant among the elite as little or nothing of the sort is heard among the poor. Is this a case of the rich also cry? Or maybe the poor attribute the etiology of their infertility to the witches from their village out of sheer ignorance. The society has a prominent role in the infertility issue. They add to the depression of the infertile couple by ridiculing and gossiping about them with each passing moment. It takes well rooted love in a union to overcome all the challenges associated with infertility.

 Prevention of infertility includes avoiding pollutions in the environment and chronic alcoholism, eat foods rich in antioxidants e.g tomatoes because oxidative stress has been attributed to low sperm count. Women should take time to relax off work because work stress and its associated factors decreases the chances of conceiving.

 Finally, infertility should be seen as a collective issue and not a blame-trading venture. Remember that marriage is for better and for worse. Accept your spouse as he/she is.  Impossibility is nothing.

 GRACIAS.

TOKE'S CROSS

 

".....this is the height of it, I can't take it anymore. He is not the only youth pastor in this age, why am I the only one having this headache?. Since they made him youth pastor at the church headquaters, Its been more of a curse than a blessing to me and its affecting the baby. I am not trying to be the "devil" in his calling but this was not what I had in mind when we started dating. What am I supposed to do?! *sobs*....I'm just tired... " Toke kept weeping on the phone.

 It was actually a conference call with Gloria and Oyin (her all time besties) patiently listening at the other end of the line.

"Stop crying toke, you know it's not good for the baby.... I'll tell Femi to talk to him. They've been friends for a long time and I Know he'll listen to him."...Oyin comforted her.

"I've told you to leave this man and face your baby, life is too short for all this. I cannot have somebody giving me high blood pressure in this day and time, I just can't." Gloria snorted.

"Don't talk like that Gloria, not everyone is as strong as you are. Toke needs someone that would love her and we both know how much 'hawt pastor' loves her. Don't worry, It'll be fine." Oyin said, in her ever so calming voice

.

"Alright I've heard you both... Thanks oyin for your understanding and thank you Gloria for your bad advice, I knew I could always count on it"

"...Anytime girl!" Gloria replied, laughing and the phone line went dead.

This was not the "happy ever after" Toke had dreamt of. The baby was 3 weeks due and she didn't need this kind of pressure at least not now. Toke never envisaged that she would end up with a pastor. Pastors were never her "thing". Her meeting 'hawt pastor' was just a coincidence and the few things they shared in common only concentrated the new found love between them. In the beginning, It wasn't like this. Hawt pastor (Biola) always had time for her. He always made himself available for the thursday night drama, which they both watched together on TV in the comfort of their living room. He made it a point of duty to take her out for dinner every saturday night. He knew how agitated pregnant women could be sometimes but he was always patient with her. These and many other acts of love were some of the things Toke missed about pastor.

The night he came back with the news of being promoted to the position of youth pastor at the church headquaters, they both rejoiced and gave thanks to God. Biola started attending crusades all over the world leaving Toke all alone. He would always call her and reassure her of his love but that was not the kind of love Toke was used to. She needed him by her side to reassure her each time she was sad. He always knew what to say to pacify her.

It's been 2 days since 'hawt pastor' came back from the monthly "ready to mingle" crusade and Toke was savouring every minute of his presence before he would disappear again. She  decided to talk to him again about how  his frequent crusades were drifting them apart. He was having breakfast when Toke decided to express her concerns. She had not even said much when Biola started shouting

"how can you say such?.. Do you want to stand in the way of God's ministry?!. Toke what has come over you?.... Who has been advising you?... Is it Gloria? Of course it's her. I always knew she was no good. Rubbish!... I do not have time for this" and he stormed out of the house with his briefcase in his hand.

Toke just stood there with her mouth wide open and no words coming out of it. Was this the man she was supposed to marry in 3 months time?.. Truly life could not be so wicked so as to deal her so many blows at a time, there's only so much a woman can take. Here she was carrying another man's pregnancy and yet planning to marry another man, that she isn't even sure loves her. There was only one person she could talk to now...Femi Tosh.

"Good evening Femi.." Toke managed to mutter on the phone amidst sobs.

"What's wrong Toke?... It can't be that Bad. Oyin told me all about it. Are you at home? Where is Biola?" Femi asked comfortingly.

"He..." *sobs*..."he just stormed out of the house femi.... I'm tired, I'm fed up!" Toke wept on the phone.

"It's alright..don't cry. I know where he might be. I'll go and talk to him...Its alright ok?"

Biola was at the lagoon front, the place where he and Femi always came to each time they had "girl problems". Femi knew that Biola was only reacting to pressure around him. Biola was not a perfectionist but letting people down was not one of his specialities. He loved Toke to a fault and didn't want to hurt her in anyway but then he couldn't let his church suffer either. He managed to explain this and many more to Femi. Having experienced a few months in marriage, Femi was able to advice his friend on the need to draw the line between family and work. He imparted so much wisdom into Biola that caused Biola to even doubt his own 'annointing'. Biola dashed home after the brotherly sermon from Femi only to find Toke screaming and pulling at her hair...the baby was on it's way. It was coming earlier than announced. Right there and then, Biola apologized to his wife-to-be and promised to increase his love for her.

Toke raised her eyes to the ceiling and said to herself "Hmmm.....we might still have that 'happy ever after'. Afterall you are my 'hawt pastor'..." *smiles*

THE END.

2012: THE GRIM REAPER in motion

                                            



"Hmmmmm......"

...that is all some of us can say when we are asked to define 2012 in one word. We all know that death is inevitable but we are only reminded of this fact when it takes our loved ones suddenly and pre-maturely. Sometimes you are tempted to ask "why?"...but still you get no answers. People die every second and it is not a weird thing but this year I have been forced to really see death as the inevitable end which is a respecter of no man. Lets see some of those events that have left unanswered questions in our hearts in 2012.



FUEL SUBSIDY

We all remember the fuel subsidy protests that welcomed us to 2012. There were mass protests in different areas of the country especially in Lagos. The country was grounded for five whole days as the Nigerian Labour Congress and the federal government held talks so as to reach a consensus. By the time the strike was over, we discovered that people had died during the riots and protests as a result of random shooting by law enforcement officers. It is sad knowing that this people "might" still have been alive today if the subsidy protests did not happen.

JUNE 3, 2012
Yet another black Sunday in Nigeria’s history.
That Sunday dealt Nigerians in general two heavy blows. Many of us went to church that Sunday thanking God for seeing the first Sunday in the month of June not knowing how the day would end.

BOMB BLAST IN BAUCHI STATE
The 8 a.m service in my church had just ended and I had to wait for my parents in the car. I put un the radio and the news was next. The news caster said thus “breaking news… Suicide bomber Kills 15, injures 40 at Living Faith church, Bauchi state”. This was not the first time a bomb would be going off in a church and on a Sunday for that matter, the sad thing is that it is now a norm. Bombs blasts have never been a Nigerian thing but since October 2010, the nation has been held hostage by people who don’t want western education—–à BOKO HARAM. Every Sunday, people go to church in the north not sure of what the day will bring. This year we had nothing less than 25 BOKO HARAM attacks. Considering the amount of people that have died from bomb blasts and various attacks this year….all i can say is Lord have mercy!



 



DANA PLANE CRASH.
We were watching a football match that evening around 4 p.m when i decided to check twitter, just for fun. All I could see was “breaking news….plane crash in Iju, Lagos. Memories of bellview and sosoliso plane crash came rushing, I just prayed in my heart that there would be survivors.The plane was coming from Abuja and was Lagos bound. People lost family and friends on Dana airline flight 9j-922. 153 people on that plane and other people who were relaxing in their houses when the plane crashed into them. Some families lost about four people in that crash, children were made orphans, wives became widows and husbands became widowers, others lost their fiancés, friends and loved ones. It could have been anyone on that plane. The airline was suspended for a while, the families were promised compensation (I don’t know how that ended), people “condemned” it (the usual practise here), the issue of social media was also a cause for concern because information gathered showed that people were taking pictures and posting them on the internet while the plane was still burning. Investigations even revealed the last conversation between the pilot and the control terminal and this brought a lot of mixed feelings seeing that the crash could have been avoided. It was one crash too many.

.





MASS SHOOTING AT BATMAN PREMIERE
In July this year, the Colorado Shooting story made news when James Holmes, a postgraduate student in the United states visited a cinema in Colorado and opened fire on the people randomly. The attack killed 12 people and left nearly 60 others injured.
We also got information that three men jumped on top of their girlfriends as the bullets flew through Theater Nine at Century Cinemas in Aurora, Colorado during the shooting. Amidst the chaos, amidst the gunfire and amidst tear gas, these three men thought of the women they loved and used their bodies to protect them. They threw them to the floor, under the seats; they held them tight. They held onto their beautiful women as tight as they possibly could. Lying on top of their bodies in case a bullet came their way. All three girlfriends survived the killings. They are Jansen Young, Samantha Yowler and Amanda. And one of them, Jansen, had the courage to recall those last moments, “There was kind of a break in between each gunshot. Every gunshot, I was like “This is it I’m done for.” Jon gave me one good push against that concrete again and then . . . I didn’t really feel his arms against my back anymore but I knew he was still there.” When the gunshots went quiet, Jansen realized her boyfriend was shot. “I started shaking him and saying, “Jon, Jon, we have to go…it’s time for us to get out of here.” But he didn’t move. His breath was gone. This brought about the issue of Gun control in the US.


MUBI MASSACRE
In Mubi, Adamawa state at least 40 students were killed by unknown gunmen. Reports say the gunmen called them out by their names and shot them. Lord have mercy.

 ALLU 4
The 1st week of October didn’t end too well for a lot of us. The news of how four youths (all UNIPORT students) between the ages of 19 and 22 were burnt to death in Aluu village of Rivers state brought tears to the eyes of many, both young and old. The video and pictures went viral on the internet and a lot of people, members of the public, activists, radio and tv stations condemned the act. People who had never heard about them before cried for them, now you can only imagine what their family members must have gone through. There were a lot of conflicting stories (rumours) making the rounds then about how they were burnt because they were thieves and cultists who went to steal, all of which have no proof. There is no justification whatsoever for jungle justice. The story was the talk of the nation and the world at large, with everyone asking for justice but like the norm in this part of the world, little or nothing was heard about the issue again. Why destroy the life that you cannot create? May their souls of Ugonna, Lloyd, Tekena and Chidiaka rest in perfect Peace.






GUN CONTROL AGAIN!!
Yet another black Christmas for some families this year.It was a normal school day in Sandy Hook elementary school in new town Connecticut, USA. The school houses about 600 students (between ages 5 and 10 yrs old) and 60 teachers. Parents dropped their children off at the school in the morning only to be called back a few hours later. A young man had entered into the school and was shooting at the kids. Teachers who tried to save some of the children ended up dead. 20 children and 6 adults including the school principal were killed that day. The shooter was 20 yr old Adam Lanza. One of the residents when asked how he was feeling about the incident he replied “Faith is tested when the unthinkable happens, i take solace in the fact that we now have 20 new angels watching over connecticut”…I couldn’t agree any less.
 

 



HELICOPTER CRASH
On December 15, 2012 a Nigerian Navy helicopter crashed in tombia, Bayelsa state.they were returning from the burial of the father of one of the Presidents aides, Oronto Douglas. There were six people in that helicopter kaduna state gov.- Patrick Yakowa, Former National security adviser- Andrew Azazi, their aides and two other captains. This wound still fresh our hearts. I pray that God comforts the families they left behind.
Another private jet crash occurred about a month before this recent crash. The jet belonged to the Taraba state governor and as a trained pilot, reports say that he was the one flying it when it crashed. He didn’t die in the crash but he has been flown abroad for medical treatment with his deputy sworn in as acting governor. I wish him safe recovery.







December 28th
Another Governor was involved in a crash. Idris Wada of Kogi state was involved in an auto crash in which the ADC died on the spot. The governor is currently lying critically injured in the hospital. I wish him safe recovery.
There was also the flood issue in Plateau. Kogi, Adamawa, Taraba and other states. About 130 people died and a lot of people were displaced from their homes and they lost a lot of properties. I could go on and on.


They were not the only people that died this year, we all may have lost someone dear to us as a result of things we could and could not control. People died as a result of drunk driving, poor hospital conditions, bad judgement et all. Some died on their birthdays, christmas et all. Its a very Long list.I know nothing can bring the dead back but can we at least learn from all that has happened so they can know they didn’t die in vain.

…..And in the words of Paul to the Corinthians I ask:

“O death, where is thy sting?…
…Where o grave, is your victory?”

MAY THE SOULS OF THE FAITHFUL DEPARTED REST IN PEACE.



GRACIAS.