F is for F

Dear diary, 

I'm not going to tell you about fast and furious and how I cried at the end of #FF7. I'm just here to talk about F as a letter. I never knew that there were so many values that started with the letter F. Freedom, faith, food, finance, friendship, feminism amongst others are things that I hold very dear to my heart. So unlike the game I played with the letter C, I'm going to say a word or two about all of them. It's a win-win for us all.

Freedom: freedom of speech, freedom to live, freedom to vote and be voted for, freedom to be yourself and all is a gift. Do you know what it feels like, not to be free? It's like being in prison. You can't do the things you want to do, you can't freely say what's on your mind, you can't live life like you would love to. You are stuck in a place and the only free thing within you is your mind. It freely roams around making you think about anything and everything. It's enough to drive you crazy! Let's be thankful that we have freedom and let us cherish it. Be wise in all your dealings and don't give anyone the power to take your freedom from you.

Faith: the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. How can you believe and hope for something you have no idea about? The people of old believed and were justified so ladies et gents, you just have to believe. Have faith that what you are looking for will come and believe me, God will show up for you.

Friendship: friends that become family. We all/some of us have that friend that we can always count on. People have friends to meet a particular need that they have. As long as that need is always met, the friendship blossoms. My question is, what happens when that need can longer be fulfilled? Will you still be friends? Look deeply at your friendship today and find the one reason to always remain friends no matter what. Some say if you never fight with your best friend then it's not real; how true is that?  

Food: it's been used by many for different purposes; To satisfy hunger, to trap men, to make people jealous, to relieve stress, to kill people. Why really do you eat? Food is one of God's gift to man. Have you ever eaten a meal and lay back in your chair satisfied? That feeling cannot be bought, it can only be experienced. The good thing about food is that it can be cooked in different ways. The knowledge gained can never be lost, it can be refined in several ways to come out looking new. Some people say they can never eat some things but my theory about it is, never say never. Wait till you find someone to cook that meal properly for you and your mind, will be changed forever. 

Finance: this happens to be a very important aspect of our lives. If it's not managed well, it can cause a lot of trouble. Do you remember how you felt after you got your first pay? How excited you were and the plans you had for it? I'm tempted to ask you how you spent the money but never mind, you can reminisce secretly. Many of us are on a salary scale, we get paid every month and the bills keep coming too. It's an unending cycle; the more the salary, the more the bills. So how do we create a balance? We need to understand the difference between needs and wants. A need is something we must have in order to live while a want, let's just say you are craving for something. In order to live life, we have to satisfy our needs but to live a quality life, we have to sometimes go for what we want.  We should have a scale of preference of what we want and in due time, we'll be able to satisfy our cravings. Don't be the kind of person that gets paid on Friday and by Saturday afternoon, you're broke again. That's recipe for disaster! Saving is very important especially if you are young. You have your whole life ahead of you and the best time to save, is now. Save a little even as you spend and with time, you'll master your finances. 

Feminism; a lot of people are jumping on the band wagon and are now card-carrying feminists. It is a range of ideologies that share a common goal; to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, cultural, personal and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment. It is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and interests. This is a very heated topic amongst my colleagues; giirls want equal rights with the guys but when it comes to doing the hard work, like carrying things and stuff, they like the guys to be in charge. We all need each other to survive, the sooner we understand  that, the better for us all.

*phew! This was a pretty long post. I hope you enjoyed reading as I did, writing. I decided to talk about all these values because I believe they all appeal to each and everyone of us. I would like to know your opinion on some of them though, values like friendship, finances and feminism can never truly be exhausted.

We are learning :) 

Pic credit: Instagram.

P.S: I guess you've noticed the long silence in the diary in recent times. It's due to the underground maintenance that has been going on. We are ready to launch in a bigger and better way. I can't wait for you to see this; you'll love it! 

Date: October 1, 2015

Venue: www.thediaryofayoungblackwoman.com

Time: 12:00 pm

As usual, don't forget to tell a friend to tell a friend. Spread the news ladies et gents, something is about to happen!.

E is for EXPLORE

Dear Diary,

E could have easily been for excellence but I changed my mind. Excellence cannot be achieved by doing the same thing over and over again, you have to explore new avenues. There are a lot of things that are required in the pursuit of excellence and we would be discussing one of them today.

A while ago, I had the opportunity to do something I had always wanted to do and I learnt a lot doing the process. It changed my way of thinking and doing things, I saw things in a different light. It made me question what I had been doing all the while, it changed me for the better. The thing is I wouldn't have learnt all I did if I didn't step out of my comfort zone, if I didn't want more in life, if I didn't explore.

To explore is to search, to investigate, to analyze, to look into, the list is endless. Exploring creates that quest for more in you. In exploring, you find exposure. You are exposed to things you never knew. It's not enough to sit things out and wait for them to happen, you have to pursue your cause.

A lot of us have such a predictable mindset; Go to school, get a degree, get a job, get married, grow old et voila! That's it. Everybody is doing that so what is special about it? There should be an inert desire to look for more, to question the status quo. Why are things done this way? Isn't there a better way? 

The thing is that you think you have time; in actual fact, you don't! How many times are we going to be told the proverb,  make hay while the sun shines?  Don't wait until you are old and rickety and all you do is regret the life you've lived. Step out while you are young and start acting. Stop procrastinating because you are afraid, making mistakes only reminds you of the human that you are. Life itself is a risk, don't be afraid to try something new.

"To know what life is worth, you have to risk it once in a while." -Jean Paul Satre

Dare to dream and do things no one thought you could do. It doesn't matter if you get turned down, that's the worst that could happen. If you don't try, you'll never know. Don't let the story of your life be written with the phrase "had I known". We don't know when the grim reaper would come visiting. It's not about how long you stay on this planet, it's about how well you live your life while you are here.

Travel, try out new food, read books, fear God, go places, try out new activities, make new friends, learn new things. See the world for what it is and not just the round shape people claim it to be. 

In the words of the Late Capt. Peter Kayode Bello, "best to explore while young".

We are learning :).

P.S: I guess you've noticed the long silence in the diary in recent times. It's due to the underground maintenance that has been going on. We are ready to launch in a bigger and better way. I can't wait for you to see this; you'll love it! 

Date: October 1, 2015

Venue: www.thediaryofayoungblackwoman.com

Time: 12:00 pm

As usual, don't forget to tell a friend to tell a friend. Spread the news ladies et gents, something is about to happen!.

LET'S TALK ABOUT COWS...

Dear Diary,

Do not be decieved by the title of this post, it has nothing to do with my absence in recent times. No, I haven't joined the league of extraordinary traders who deal in cows and their produce and no, I have no intention of doing so in the nearest future.

While surfing the net, I came across a post by Mike Hosking Breakfast. I found it quite interesting and in my usual generous manner, I've decided to share it with you. It's a series of pictures that uses two cows to describe the world economy and the economy of different countries. As simple as it looks, it carries a lot of information in it. There's a bit of humour attached to it, enjoy!

There you have it ladies et gents, the maximal effect of two cows. What country definition do you like best? I can't find one for the Nigerian Corporation, it'll be nice to describe our corporation using the famous cows. Any ideas? Please share, it would be fun :)

Photo credit: Facebook

D is for DISCIPLINE

Dear diary,

Admiring people from a distance is something we humans do subconsciously. We admire them for different reasons; their attitude, beauty and even their level of discipline. We love the way they look focused, achieving milestones around them and breaking boundaries. Any human can break boundaries and achieve great milestones but it takes an extraordinary human to maintain that level of success.

The ability to train yourself to do something by controlling your behavior is known as self discipline. It takes inner strength and a lot of practice to become disciplined. It doesn't just arrive as a package at your doorstep, you have to work hard to earn the title. Just like a habit, self discipline has to be learnt. The following steps may help if you are willing to learn;

1. Set goals; a goal is an aim or a desired result at the end of a certain period. When setting goals, make sure they are SMART!

Specific: Start with a particular goal and work towards achieving it. 

Measurable: the goals should be quantifiable, something you can look at and say you achieved something.

Attainable: don't put your self in a corner by setting goals that you know are impossible

Realistic: set goals that are real!

Time bound: surround your goal with a time frame during which the goal must be achieved.

2. Accountability: You need to be accountable to someone if you want to be self disciplined. Someone that can see beyond all the excuses you give yourself just to dignify your actions. It may be you colleague at work, a friend, someone you respect, any person other than yourself would do. By being accountable to someone, you've placed yourself in a situation where you can be put back on track if you go off.

3. Out of sight, out of mind; this old saying is very relevant when learning to be self disciplined. Inasmuch as you have learnt the art of being disciplined, there's almost a 100% chance that you can have a relapse. To avoid this, you need to keep out of sight and mind things (e.g phones) and situations that you know would take you back to a past you no longer live in. You've been there before, you should be able to recognize the signs and avoid them.

Learning to be self disciplined can be quite frustrating. The few points I've listed above are guides and they would come in handy if you want to be self disciplined. You are learning a whole new attitude to life and it can be quite annoying. You'll feel terrible, angry and even want to quit but remember it's the end that justifies the means. The new you is going to break boundaries and do extraordinary things so you need to be excited about that. 

What other things do you think we need to put in place to achieve the self discipline status? Please share.

Live, learn, love.

C is for CHANGE

Dear diary,

Choosing a topic for letter C was quite tasking for me, I had to choose between charity and change. After much deliberation, I decided to stick with change.

After a long deliberate break from watching the Kardashians, I recently decided to watch an episode and see what’s been happening with them. It was quite an emotional episode as some of the K sisters were in tears. Apparently, the man they had always taken as their father Bruce Jenner, was becoming a woman. In this particular episode, he was explaining to them about how he always wanted to come out of his shell (being a man) for so many years but he couldn’t because he wanted to be there for them as a father. He told them that he needed their support  now that he wanted to become the woman he was born to be. The girls were crying but at the end of it all, they decided to support him. Not all of them understood his reasons but they had to accept it; their 66 year old father was going to be a woman and there was nothing they could do about it.

Moving from the status quo to something else is my own little way of describing Change. It may not be a huge difference from where you were but as long as you are not in that particular position or situation you were in before, that’s change.

Change may come in various forms; it may be positive or negative and that’s the unique thing about it. For the Kardashians, change has come and they have to accept it. The human mind has an undying thirst for change when it has been buried in a realm of static energy. We saw this thirst during the campaign for the President of the United States of America, Barack Obama and we also saw it during President Buhari’s campaign. There’s something exciting about change that makes people look forward to it even though they are not sure of what it may bring.

Isn’t it ironic that the only constant thing in life is change? For you to move forward in life, you have to change something. If you refuse change, you can’t move forward. The change you seek might not be what you get but as long as you have made an attempt to move, that’s a step forward. Mistakes may happen but be rest assured you’ll learn from them. I’ve met people who are terrified of change and honestly, you can’t help but feel sorry for them. The world doesn’t revolve around you and if you refuse to move forward, you will be left behind. Not every change is good but that’s where wisdom comes to play. As an adult, you should be able to sieve the wheat from the chaff.

People change and circumstances change but you have to live with it and move forward. If you are willing, you can choose the type of change you want. A lot of relationships are in a quagmire today and the story most times is the same; its either one person has changed or the other person has refused to change, if you are tired of how things are, why don’t you invoke the spirit of change in your relationship? I don’t mean you should change your partner but you can change your attitude to certain things and watch the wind of positive  transformation whirl around you. 

Change begins on the inside and manifests outwardly. Don’t be afraid of change, try something new today 😊

I'll leave you with the words of a great poet, philosopher and author from ancient china;

  "Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality, let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”- LAO TZU

 

B is for BEAUTY

Dear diary,

Have you ever heard a man in love talk about his partner's beauty and you are like "really? let me see a picture." You look at the picture and smile sheepishly at him while saying to yourself "oh common, gerrarahia!"  Well, in the words of the late Michael Jackson, you are not alone.

Beauty has been defined over the years by various ideologies and opinions. What remains constant in it's definition is that people tend to tie it down to physical attraction. It's kind of weird when you bring someone that is not attractive physically and you expect people to say that that person is beautiful. That's like shooting yourself in the foot.

Beauty defines the qualities that a person possesses that makes them pleasing to the senses or the mind. What's beautiful to you may not necessarily be so to me. Hence the saying, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. It depends on who is looking. You often wonder why people that are not physically attractive end up with drop dead gorgeous people but only the people in the relationship can understand. The beautiful lady may have married the not so physical attractive man because he possesses some qualities that would last forever. It only takes maturity to understand that physical attraction fades but qualities like kindness, charity and meekness last forever. The guy looks lucky in the relationship but the girl knows that she the one living with a gold medal.

Don't always assume that someone must have done a ritual or visited a native doctor just to be involved with a beautiful person, it's only the people on the football pitch that can understand the dynamics of the game. Peer pressure or should I say youthful exuberance, has pushed us to believe that beauty is only defined by physical features and by this, many have lost out on a whole lot. People marry for physical attractions and a year after they are divorced because they found out they married a physically attractive empty container. 

If you are physically attractive and you are also attractive on the inside, that's a major plus for you. You are like diamond in a rough. If you know that you are not physically attractive, there are ways to make up for it. You can be beautiful on the inside and that would reflect on the outside. Please don't let society's immature definition of beauty deny you the pleasure of being yourself. Beauty can only be appreciated by the beholder. 

On a side note, I've always wondered why girls in the clubs are picked up by strangers and they are happy to go home with them. These strangers tease them about their beauty that only they can see but then I realized that the saying is true;

Beauty indeed, is in the eyes of the be(er) holder.

A is for ATTITUDE

Dear diary,

"Your attitude sucks!"

I'm sure I'm not the first person telling you this so please don't contort your face. Okay, maybe I started this the wrong way, let me start over.

Growing up, I was quite reserved. I was that little girl that'll walk into a room and just sit by herself, observing everything and everyone. I was okay with it until I found out that people mistook my quietness and shyness for pride. You can imagine my facial expression during one of our confession nights in high school when one of my friends said to me "I never really liked you at the beginning, I thought you were one very proud and spoilt girl that felt too big to talk to people." Little me that couldn't talk to people because of my shyness, was being portrayed as a peacock. It didn't bother me then but I got to understand that even if that wasn't my true character, people had already concluded on my attitude. 

According to the Mariam Webster English Dictionary, Attitude has 3 major definitions

-the way you think and feel about someone or something

-a feeling or way of thinking that affects a person's behavior

-a way of thinking and behaving that people regard as unfriendly, rude, etc.

So basically, attitude has to deal with thinking, feeling and behaving. 

People describe an attitude based on observation (or assumption) of a particular character. They must have seen a particular behavior, thought about it and concluded on how to describe it. It's sort of like a gabbage in, gabbage out system. They can only conclude on your attitude after observing you in action. The sad thing is that even if you acted out of anger or frustration, people do not care. They just place that bad attitude tag on your forehead and walk away, after-all, first impression maters.

Your attitude helps people to know who you are. Take for instance, you are meeting someone for the first time. In this day and age that gist flies around like a mosquito, he/she would have done a background check on you so as to know you better. If the word about town is that you have a bad attitude, the person comes for that meeting being on the offensive, waiting to attack.

Attitude is fueled by thoughts. In his book, As a man thinketh, James Allen rightfully related thought and character. 

"Thought and character are one, and as character can only manifest and discover itself through environment and circumstance, the outer conditions of a person's life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state."

Your attitude also helps you to discover who you are. You may not know certain things about yourself that are not right until someone says something to you about it. The only way someone can notice something about you is through your attitude. Don't always contort your face when someone says something about your attitude. Sit back and think about what has been said. If you think it's true, you change for the better. If you think they are wrong about you, then send it to the wind. People will always talk, but everybody cannot be wrong at the same time. Your attitude says a lot about who you are.

Take a moment to sit back and think again because there may be a modicum of truth when someone walks up to you and says, 

"Your attitude sucks!"

HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR ALPHABETS?

Dear diary,

*insert Joey's voice* how you doing? 😉

It's been a while I wrote in the diary and it's because I couldn't find my pen (pen means a lot of things right now so feel free to go with whatever makes you happy). I've found the pen now and I'm ready to start writing again. 

During my search for the pen, I discovered a lot things that I haven't discussed with you guys such as virtues, ideas and the likes. I've compiled a list of them and I'm going to be sharing them alphabetically. 

The first post goes up tomorrow. Each letter of the alphabet would be used to discuss a word (or words) for each day. Don't worry, you're not in a kindergarten class. There would be 3 posts up every week. As usual, tell a friend to tell a friend to visit the diary, it promises to be interesting. We all would be learning something new.

Live, learn, love.

NIGERIA HAS DECIDED (2)

Dear diary, 

From my last post, you now have an idea of how the election process went. I'm sure you want to know what the outcome was. After voting, what's next? This post will answer your question.

According to the INEC chairman, Professor Attahiru Jega, the results of the election would be announced within 48 hrs of the voting process. The results were not announced 48 hours after but the coalition process had begun. The hours that followed the voting process were probably the longest hours ever for most Nigerians. People were having palpitations and blood pressures were skyrocketing. Up until the 28th of March this year, some Nigerians had no idea that local tv stations existed on their decoders. But following the elections of that day, come and see them flipping through local tv stations like it was going out of fashion. They were even the ones breaking news from tv stations on social media. Weekly TV series and Nollywood movies took the back seat as Nigerians became Political analysts; analyzing what was and what wasn't.

Prof. Jega announced that the cumulated result from each state would be announced live on tv from 12 noon the following Monday. As a result of that announcement, shops and offices closed (that's if they even opened) very early that day. Everybody was rushing home just to watch Prof. Jega live on tv, announcing the result of the election. 

At about 2 pm that day, out first case of Jega timing was diagnosed. He didn't start at noon as he said but no one cared. He was on seat already at the INEC national coalition centre, Abuja, so it was only a matter of minutes before the results would be announcesd and we could return to our regular lives. When the live broadcast started, he apologized for the delay and he informed us that the whole process may take about 10-12 hours. We didn't mind, we were willing to wait. And so the coalition process began. 

Each state had an electoral officer usually a current or former vice chancellor of a university. It was interesting seeing renowned professors and lecturers fumble in public. People had to ask if these set of people were the same people wielding the magic stick over peoples destinies in the university. It just made me appreciate the fact that no human being is perfect. 

About 14 political parties took part in the 2015 presidential elections and when the results from a particular state are to be announced, the electoral officer would call out the parties with their results simultaneously, in their alphabetical order. This process took about 36 hours. 

How is the winner decided? 

1. Total number of votes 

2. More than 25% of votes in a state

Before the coalition process was over, Nigerians already knew who the winner was. What a dramatic evening it was as the streets were filled with celebrations. Chants of "sai baba, sai Buhari" rented the air. 

The fireworks in the sky that night reminded me of New Year's Eve. In a bid to ensure peace, the sitting president Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, called the president-elect, Gen. Mohammed Buhari to congratulate him. That singular act by the president was welcomed by most people as a sign of peace.

The 2015 general elections would be a memorable one for a long time to come. With all the negativity and unfavorable circumstances that surrounded it, it still came out successful. I'm happy I witnessed it all. It's my turn to tell my grandchildren about the famous 2015 elections!

I'll leave you with a quote from Prof. Attahiru Jega; 

P.s: I do appreciate the effort put in by Channels television during the election. Period. Tremendous work!

Picture credit: google, @bayoomoboriowo, twitter.

NIGERIA HAS DECIDED

Dear diary,

In my last post here, I talked about the upcoming General elections. Well, the elections have come and gone but the memories from that day would be taught in our children's History classes. I'm glad I witnessed a "proper" election in Nigeria and I can proudly say Nigeria has decided. The governing election body in Nigeria, Independent National Electronic Commission (INEC), had a humongous task before them and they delivered to an appreciable degree. From PVC's to Card Reader System, this election had something different about it. As usual, yours truly has prepared a photoblog for you just so you can relish the happy moments and not so happy moments from the just concluded Presidential elections. Sit back, crunch those biscuits and enjoy as you read.

The voting process was billed to start at 8:00 am but trust Nigerians and their Jega African timing. While some of the INEC ad hoc staff arrived on time, others arrived their polling units at the close of day. In all of this, Nigerians were surprisingly patient. Nobody wanted to move. They waited around the polling unit until the ad hoc staffs arrived and began the accreditation process. 

This was the first time the card reader system was used in Nigeria. Even though there were some glitches at the beginning, they eventually found a way around it. This system really played a great part in ensuring the success of the election. I only hope that INEC will improve on it so as to ensure a smooth election process. 

As the day progressed, the heavens opened up and showered blessings on Nigerians as the stood at their units but they did not move. They were going to cast their vote come rain or shine.

Trust our celebrities to join the train. They also showed up at the polling units with their PVC's, ready to vote.

While others were waiting in line to be accredited, a couple at a polling unit in Surulere, Lagos got engaged. We couldn't see fancy wedding pictures that Saturday because all weddings were put on hold but at least we got an engagement photo. Congratulations!

The streets were empty! Those that couldn't come out to vote (due to lack of PVC or out of fear) stayed indoors. It was a case of "don't look for trouble and it wouldn't find you."

The most exciting thing for me was seeing elderly people come out to cast their vote. These people witnessed the civil war (with all its woes and throes) and still believe in Nigeria. So much that they had to step out of their comfort zone to perform their civic duty. Truly, Nigeria is ours and we are the only ones that can make it better.

Market ended well for some people that day, as they got more than they bargained for. This was a downturn for me; this picture went viral that day courtesy Nigerian twitter and yes, we all asked the same question you are about to ask "How old is this boy? How come he has a PVC?!" Like play, like play, this dude has become a celeb

People of all walks of life came out to cast their vote. 

Leaders that lead! The candidates that were running for the Presidential seat turned up early at their polling units and casted their votes. Trust the paparazzi, always ready!

Body no be firewood! The security operatives were commendable that day, even though Mother Nature tried to get the best of some of them e.g this guy.

Some polling units conducted elections into the wee hours of the morning due to late arrival and logistic problems. Trust Nigerians and their accomodating spirit. They brought out chairs, pure water and light snacks just to make each other comfortable. 

Some polling units had to move their voting process to the next day. At the end of the day, quite a number of registered voters were able to cast their vote. 

What was the outcome of the voting process? Who won the elections? How were the votes counted? When was the result announced? These and many more questions would be answered in the 2nd part of this post. Watch this space! 😊

Picture credit: Google images, Instagram, Twitter, Mr Bayo Omoboriowo (Talented photographer!) and my lovely BBM contacts :)