SOMETIME IN APRIL...

Dear diary,

The month of April is over. Where is 2014 running to? A lot has happened in April and I think it's worth recapping. From the heavy rains that looked like we were experiencing an eclipse, to the heat that would make you want to go without clothes, April has been more than just your regular month.

In the first week of April, we were greeted with the news of the death of a Medical doctor in the US. She was shot by her husband in their house at about 3a.m. While some people think it's not worth reporting, it's only a remainder that violence is gradually gripping our society. Whatever the circumstances surrounding the murder, mothers should start training sons that would protect their wives and families and not turn them to opponents in the boxing ring. Oscar Pistorius is still undergoing trial for allegedly shooting his girlfriend in their house. My outrage following this ugly incident has been summarized in the Love is not enough post, feel free to read again.

So we woke up on a Monday morning to people crying and wailing following the Bomb blast that rocked the Nyanya Motor park in Abuja. It occurred at about 6:50 a.m and buses were blown up, bodies were dismembered, chaos everywhere! The explosion left over 80 people dead and hundreds of people injured. May God comfort the bereaved families and grant the deceased eternal rest. 

 

Weddings in high places graced the month of April. Faith sakwe, president Jonathan's first daughter married her beau, Godswill Edwards; Former Vice-president, Atiku Abubaker's son married his fiancée, Mariana; Tiwa savage is now officially Mrs Balogun having signed the dotted lines with her hubby, Mr Balogun. Yours truly is wishing them a lifetime of happiness and peace coupled with beautiful babies.

Nigeria had a health scare this month. Ebola outbreak was announced and it's occurrence has been reported in Nigeria's border countries. While no incidence has been reported in Nigeria (yet), we have been advised to watch out for its symptoms i.e headaches, fever, muscle pain, sore throat e.t.c. Ebola is a deadly disease and it has no cure at the moment. All fever like symptoms should be taken to the doctor and not be waved off as malaria. We should also avoid eating bush meat or at least boil them properly before eating.

In the early hours of the 15th of April, over 200 girls were kidnapped from a secondary school in Chibok, Borno state. Schools in the north had been shut down following rising insecurities and the girls only returned to school to prepare for their W.A.E.C examination. The abductors arrived in the night under the disguise of the Nigerian Army and carted the girls away in their trucks. While some of the girls managed to escape when the truck broke down along the way, many others are still being held hostage in the thick Sambisa Forest. These are teenage girls, our sisters, daughters and future mothers, we can only imagine what they are going through. Parents are going berserk because the situation has left them helpless.  We pray and hope that they'll be found soon.

Still on Tuesday April 15, a ferry carrying about 459 people in South Korea, capsized over the coast rendering about 200 missing and others dead. The ferry was on its way to the Island of Jeju. Some bodies have been found and others are still unaccounted for. 

The Malaysian plane is still missing, 40 days after and no clue in sight. The national CONFAB IS still ongoing and the dramatic Oscar Pistorius trial is still gaining momentum.

Watching sometime in April as a child sent shivers down my spine. Thinking about it now, it's like the events from that movie are slowly becoming a reality. April holds a lot of memories for us both as individuals and as a nation. While some are regrettable, we are thankful for others. It's clear that the sad parts are more, but we can only hope for a better time in May.

HAPPY NEW MONTH!!!

Photo Credit: Google, Bella Naija.

STATE OF THE NATION: A CASE OF THE UMBRELLA AND THE BROOM

Dear diary,

          

Not a few people woke up to the sound of shattering glass and blasts; breaking news tweets and lamentations on Monday morning. Nyanya bus park in Abuja had been Bombed!

The sad incident which claimed more than 75 lives and left over 120 others injured, has continued to receive comments and reactions from various parts of the world. In our dear country, the usual 'I condemn' speech is being delivered by various leaders and factions. Aggrieved citizens are on social media bemoaning the loss of brothers and sisters, wondering when all these will end.

The blame game is also on. The masses are blaming the leaders and the leaders are trading blames. The national publicity secretary of the Umbrella carrying party, has come out to say that specific persons in the Broom sweeping opposition are responsible for the incessant attacks on the country. As is expected, his counterpart in the accused party has also responded calling it a poor attempt by the ruling party to score cheap Political points. That has been the case of our security as a nation in recent times, going back and forth, nobody is taking responsibility for anything.

As they trade blames, the masses are watching, no solution is being provided. If the umbrella carriers know the people responsible for the attacks, shouldn't they go after them instead of coming to the public to say so? If the opposition has an answer to these attacks, shouldn't it in the spirit of one Nigeria, lend a helping hand to the government? Why must we always politicize issues in our dear country?

The blast that happened on April 14 happens almost on a daily basis in places like Borno, Maiduguri and Yobe. Nobody even bats an eyelid to the attacks anymore because it's like a norm. How many more people must die before a lasting solution is found?

Let us drop our umbrellas and stop sweeping. The umbrella will not stop the rain of attacks and the broom will not sweep away the terrorists. Among the people that died on monday were christians, muslims, the rich, the poor, men, women and children. It's an attack on all of us as a nation. Our unity and resolve to end these attacks will put us on the path to victory.

Is there only one terrorist group in Nigeria? Are foreign terrorist groups involved in these attacks? Are we sure that the attacks will not continue if power changes hands in 2015? If the so called terrorists are Muslims and they want to destroy the country, why should they start from their homes?

Until we can answer these questions truthfully, we are a long way from overcoming this.

May the labour of our heroes past, who toiled and strived for this nation, never be in vain.

SOMETIMES, LOVE IS NOT JUST ENOUGH!

Dear diary,

It has been passed on from generation to generation that love conquers all. While this is true to an extent, sometimes love is not just enough reason for us to do some of the things we do.

Take for instance, a girl in a relationship with a man that hits her when he is angry or when she has done something wrong (that's usually the excuse they give). You know he beats women but still you walk into that marriage with both eyes open. You say that he loves you and will change after marriage, really?! You are 6 feet under now after he beat you to death and all you are left with is flowers by your grave side.

You are carrying the sickle cell trait and you are engaged to a fellow carrier. You are aware that this union may bring forth kids that will be sicklers, yet you go ahead because you are in love. Will you both remember "love" when you are shouting on yourselves in the hospital during another crises of your 9 year old child, blaming each for what could have been avoided?Sometimes love is not just enough.

She is the "I don't care type", never showed the slightest inkling of even being a home maker. She always reiterated the fact that she is not the take home to mama type but you believed she would change. Now you are lying on the hospital bed with hemi-paresis after you collapsed during one of your shouting bouts with her. Is it really worth it? You lived over 30 years of your life with no troubles and in 2 years you ended up in the hospital with paralysis. Is love really enough to walk downhill? 

You are a workaholic. Momma raised you to work hard and save money. Suddenly, you meet Mr TDH that can't fend for himself and he is feeding off you. From hundreds, to thousands, to millions, to being in charge of one of your bank accounts. He has run away now with your money and all you have left is "love". 

Don't get it twisted, love is a beautiful thing. The butterflies in your tummy and the slow music playing in the background every time you see that person, is enough to make you go gaga.  In the midst of all these, you need stay in touch with reality. The good book says Love your neighbor as you love yourself. I'm sure you love yourself enough not to inflict pain and torture upon yourself so why would you allow another person do so to you?

We are all susceptible to love and it can happen to anybody, anytime and anywhere. It is of utmost importance that we understand that love is not enough to make some of the decisions that we do. Sometimes we end up regretting them and had I known becomes the song. 

Love is hopeful, it never loses faith. Remember that faith is shown by our  actions. If you love someone that pummels you every time, you can give him space or even recommend him a psychologist that will walk him through it (if he is willing to change). These are some of the actions that show true love.

Love is not enough reason to turn a blind eye to all the glaring signs. In fact, it should be the reason why you look for such signs and try to correct them. If they cannot be corrected, love is not enough to just walk over them. If you truly love them, you'll let them go so nobody gets hurt at the end.

Don't take your heart on a journey without your brain. Love with your heart, think with your head.

SELECTIVE DISABILITY

Dear diary,

In anger management, a lot of theories have been proposed. Some have worked while others are still hanging in the balance. Let me introduce you to the latest theory in town, the SELECTIVE DISABILITY THEORY:

"If you want to manage your anger effectively, you must choose to be selectively blind, deaf, dumb and handicapped to all the infuriating situations that you would normally yield to."

This is a theory by yours truly and it is up for discuss anywhere and anytime, so let's discuss it.

Being disabled means being unable to perform one or more natural activities due to an illness, injury, etc. Being selectively disabled means 'choosing' not to perform those natural actions you would normally do. Let's say you live with people that do things that make you angry. You know those people that practically live to see you angry (let's call them troublemakers), those ones that would do anything to frustrate you. There is a tendency to always give them what they are asking for. You may be tempted to shout at them or even beat them up thereby hurting yourself in the process. There are number of ways to avoid these situations and they include:

Selectively Blind: whenever you see the troublemaker doing things that will annoy you, turn a blind eye to it. Let's say not flushing the toilet after use, just train yourself to always flush the toilet whenever you enter the bathroom. Whether a mess was made or not, just flush the toilet. That way you see nothing and you are angry about nothing.

Selectively Deaf: you know those troublemakers that like to talk and talk and talk (people that nag). They talk about the tiniest things that could be ignored. Men that live with such women may be tempted to react either by word or action and the end therein is not pretty. When they start talking, just become deaf to it all. You hear the words but your brain will choose not to process them and that way, you won't be pushed to react. In the heat of it all, you can choose to remember the beautiful memories you have of life and that way you would not be in that room. Your physical body may be there but your mind is somewhere better.

Selectively Dumb: maybe you skipped the being selectively deaf part and now your brain has processed the words and you want to react, please do not yield. You know those masking tapes kidnappers put on their victims mouths, yeah you are going to need an invisible one if you want to manage your anger. If the invisible one doesn't work, the physical one will. Choose to keep your lips together and avoid talking even when you are pushed to. It may look like you are weak or stupid but be rest assured that on the intelligence scale, you are way above them.

Selectively Crippled: so they have shouted and done things that infuriated you. You have taken as much as you can and you can no longer bear it. You just want to rush over them and punch them in the face or you just want to destroy something. These actions can only be achieved if you move towards them. So why don't you just stay put or walk away from them? What is the worst that could happen if you refuse to move towards them? Absolutely nothing! Instead you will be calm.

Anger management is for mature minds, people that are willing to take control of their minds. To be successful in managing your anger, you must choose not to react even when you are pushed to. Even if nothing drives you away from such situations at least remember how you feel after shouting or fighting and making a scene, surely it is not a pretty sight.

Wisdom is profitable to direct. In managing your anger, there is a new option made available to you; be SELECTIVELY DISABLED!