MY FELLOW WOMEN

Dear diary,

In the very little time I've spent on earth, I've seen and heard all sorts. I am a young black woman as as such, I must share some of these things with my fellow women. Seeing is believing doesn't work for me anymore because I now believe that anything and everything is possible. I promised you sweet gist in my last post, so here it is:

Yours truly was standing by the road one random afternoon waiting for cars to give way so she could cross to the other side of the road. She waited and waited but no car would allow her cross. Then she saw a beautiful Toyota Camry with a pretty lady behind the wheels. The car was almost grinding to a halt as it approached where I stood and a happy me was already smiling and murmuring thank you. As I put one foot forward trying to cross the road, le pretty lady almost ran over my right foot. I was taken aback and for about 2 minutes I couldn't recollect myself. 

I've heard stories of how women dislike each other et al but I never really took them serious. What stopped the pretty lady from allowing me to cross the road? It was not an express road so there was no need for speed. It's not the first time something like that would happen so I think it's time the issue is addressed.

This antagonizing concern amongst women doesn't end on the road. We see it at parties when two ladies incidentally wear the same clothes, they instantly become enemies. A Denzel kind of guy walks into an office and all the girls there are drooling. Dude stops by a lady's table et chats nonstop with her and before you know it, the young lady becomes everybody's enemy. You cannot play blind to the kind of look some ladies give each other when they see someone that dresses better than them. Your female coworker at the office gets a promotion and stories come out of nowhere about how she slept her way to the top, who do you think is responsible for them?. I am even more convinced now that my dear customer agent friend that wanted to frustrate me at all costs is probably one of them.

You often hear ladies say that they can never have a female as their best friend, what could be the reason? Research has proven that women who hate other women do so because of insecurity et out of jealousy. In life there's always competition and this category of women believe that for them to succeed they have to bring down the other woman.

If you ask me, I think it's just a generational mentality that is passed on from one mother to her daughter. A young girl watches her mum talk spitefully about another woman and she begins to see it as the norm. If you want to change something you have to start with yourself. Make up your mind to love your fellow woman despite her flaws and slowly but surely, she'll return the favor.

Is it all in my head? Do you have any experiences? Does this happen with guys too? I need answers diarlings 😊

HOW MAY I HELP YOU PLEASE?

...that's usually the response whenever you call a company or an institution to make an enquiry or a complaint. It may be a male or a female voice but be rest assured you'll be greeted warmly.

Customer service in Nigeria has grown over the years. We have metamorphosed from screaming at customers on the line in irritation to patiently listening or smiling as the customer complains and complains. Some people have still refused to embrace change for the better. You walk into some banks and the look the customer care agent gives you is enough to delete the question or complaint from your head. 

I tried calling a telecommunications network call center a while back and it ended pretty ugly. To get an agent on line was a struggle. When somebody finally picked, i was greeted warmly (that I cannot deny) but when I explained the reason for my call, the agent seeing that it had to do with money (credit deduction et al) suddenly took offense, changed his tone and started addressing me like I was a liar and a thief. I was still explaining myself, trying not to get angry but when he started raising his voice at me, an irked me hung up and sent a strong worded email to the network provider and it was sorted out. 

I was involved in one of such dilemma's again a couple of weeks back (I don't know why they are chasing me). This time I wanted to register my sim. First off, the lady wasn't looking happy seeing me. I had to greet her before she could answer me. She kept me waiting for a while and just carried on like I wasn't there. While I was waiting, a guy came to make a credit transfer and the lady's face lit up like a candle in the middle of the night. She kept on smiling and smiling, even offering him sweets for the 10 minutes he had been there. She chatted with him and laughed all the while he was there.

When she was through with him, she finally had time for me. With her expressionless face, she asked me to fill a form. After filling the form, it was time for registration proper. Transferring the details to the data base was war. She kept telling me I didn't fill the right thing, I didn't write it properly...bla bla bla, like I was a novice. After satisfying my conscience that I wasn't at fault, I picked up my bag and left without saying a word. I finally registered my sim in another place.

Was she having a bad day? Did she not like my face? These are some of the unanswered questions in my head till this day. Even if they were answered in the affirmative, does work ethics not state that she should still attend to me in the right manner against all odds? Yes, we are humans and we aren't wired the way machines are but I think our best should be put forward at all times. 

If you apply for a job, the least you could do is make enquiries about that job. If you feel you can't work like that, you can learn on the job. If you are always angry with the world and you decide to take a customer care agent job then you know some things must change about you. In giving we receive. Love your job and it will love you back.

Thinking about it now I think she's one of those women that dislike their fellow women. Hmmm that reminds me, I have sweet gist for you! Just read it in my next post.

ADDICTIONS!!!

Dear diary,

 

It's page 11 of our 365 paged best seller,  2014. Happy new year!!! How has the book been so far? Any intriguing moments? Don't worry we still have a long way to go. The holidays are over and now it's time to work. The road traffic is back people, brace yourselves.

 

Going about my normal daily routines, I observe a lot of things (call me the observer if you like). A lot of issues are rampant in our environment but people shy away from talking about them in the open e.g addictions.

According to Merriam-Webster, a strong and harmful need to regularly have something or do something, is termed Addiction. As human beings, there's an unending craving for all sorts ranging from food, money, alcohol, drugs, smoking, sex et the likes but it's normal. It becomes an addiction when this craving is characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal. It may be a habit, drug or substance.

 

Take for instance the most common thing associated with addiction: hard drugs, such as cocaine and marijuana.Initially, it gives some sort of 'satisfaction' to the user but in the long run, the side effects are disadvantageous. It gives a certain boost to the user's ego and the person walks about proud and able to talk to anyone, anyhow. With time and use, the person becomes the opposite of what he/she used to be. They lose weight and are always looking tired because of loss of appetite and sleep deprivation which are the side effects of these drugs. They start demanding for money, giving all sorts of excuses. They become secretive and solitary. Let's not forget the effect this user's 'transformation'would have on the family. A family that has never experienced such before will treat the user as an outcast or curse on the family.

 

People use drugs for a lot of reasons, to each one his own. Some get into this quagmire beacause of pressure from friends or even curiousity. Others because of low self esteemand insecurity.

 

In controlling this addiction, a lot of sacrifices have to be made. Such a person needs rehabilitation, change of environment, counselling and family support. Yes, there would be withdrawal symptoms so be prepared for that. You can't stop the person from taking the drugs at once, this could turn the person into a psychiatric patient. You start the recovery process by reducing the amount/ quantity of drug, the user is exposed to and watch the response. Gradually, tolerance of the drug can be regulated and with time the user would overcome it. There's an 85 percent chance that the user will recede to the vomit, that's when change of environment and family support will be useful. Cut yourself from fellow users and stay away from places where these drugs are sold.

 

It may take months, it may take years but with courage, dedication et consistency, recovery will be successful. In this part of the world, drug addiction is seen as an abominationand this is totally wrong. The earlier we come to terms with it and gain knowlege about it, the better for us.

 

Like I said at the beginning, there are different forms of addiction and getting out of them isn't easy. The first part of solving a problem is to understand that there is a problem. First admit that you are an addict and help will come your way.

 

I'm addicted to my diary is that a bad thing? I don't think so :).

 

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Any experience on this topic? Pls share in the comment box.