THE STORY OF MAY

Dear Diary,

"Where do weary hearts go?"

Following the abducted 234 girls from Chibok, protests started the month of May. The protests took part in different parts of the country. The police that swore to protect citizens were using teargas to scare away peaceful protesters in some areas.

Just when we thought things couldn't get any worse, another blast happened. On workers day, jabi park in Nyanya was bombed leaving several people dead. This blast happened 3 weeks after the Nyanya motor park blast in April that we were yet to recover from.

       

#BringBackOurGirls is now worldwide. The spotlight is on Nigeria but it's all for the wrong reasons. The first 10 days in May were hot, protests left, right and center. Isha Sesay and other correspondents from the international media came into Nigeria to carry out investigative journalism In every sense of the word. Other countries like the Uk, US and France have offered to help nigeria.

B'Haram released a video showing the kidnapped girls covered with hijab, praying. They claimed they have converted them to Islam and they will only be released if the federal government released the detained BH members. So far, Parents have been able to identify about 77 of the abducted girls in the video.

Mr president was supposed to visit Chibok on the 16th of June but it was cancelled as a result of poor security clearance. The visit was publicized worldwide and therefore it had to be cancelled. Yes we expect more from the government but we surely don't want to lose the number 1 citizen in the mix. If he wants to visit, it should be a secret arrangement. Visit the troops, encourage them and leave quietly.

Jungle justice is starting to get comfortable in our society. In the month of May, there were a number of ugly cases. This reminds me of Aluu 4, people that were killed unjustly. Let's not take laws into our hands, allow the law to take it's course.

Hmmm... After 9 solid years of being at the emirates, arsenal finally lifted a trophy. They became FA cup champions on the 17th of May after dragging it with Hull city. It's been a very very very long wait. People actually shed tears that day. Over the years, players had come and gone, fans who had lost hope moved to other clubs. Arsenal had been at the receiving end of jokes over the years but after this victory, things changed for the better. Congrats to the true arsenal fans.

With the World Cup almost a month away, super eagles coach, Stephen Keshi has released the squad for the tournament in Brazil. While some prominent names like Ike Uche are missing, prodigal sons like Osaze Odemwingie have returned home. It is indeed a list of mixed feelings but overall we just want them to perform well and make us proud.

Tuesday may 20, witnessed double bombing situation in Jos. One went off by 3 pm and when people gathered to see what happened, another went off nearby at about 3:23 pm. Reprisal attacks started and a lot of people were injured, wounded and killed that day. The university of Jos lost 7 final year students and people that left their homes in the morning did not come back. These are not just numbers, they are human beings!

The most publicized and anticipated wedding of the year finally happened, Kim Kardashian got married to Kanye West this month. We finally saw pictures of Kelly Roland's marriage to Tim Witherspoon. She invited only 13 people to that wedding, cameras and phones weren't even allowed, still the pictures leaked. Sigh! The life of a superstar. Scandal's leading lady, Kerry Washington gave birth to her first daughter, Isabella. Yours truly is wishing them all the best in their new ventures.

The story of May didn't change much from that of April, it even seems to be getting worse. Let's learn to be security conscious even as we pray for a change. Don't spend too much time in public places like the mall, markets e.t.c. Be suspicious of any abnormality in your environment and always be alert. That the bombs have not started going off in your area doesn't mean it can never happen. Abuja and Jos used to be peaceful places until the day a bomb went off.

The sun will surely shine after the rain, but how for how long will it rain?

HAPPY NEW MONTH!!!

STATE OF THE NATION: Bring Back Our Girls

Dear diary, 

         

Have you popped into the Social media sites in recent times? Have you been watching the News? The whole world is agog with #BRINGBACKOURGIRLS. 

What is #BRINGBACKOURGIRLS all about? Here's 21 facts about it:

1. It's about 234 Girls that were abducted on the 15th of April in the early hours of the day from a secondary school in Chibok, Borno state.

2. The girls returned to school to write their W.A.E.C examinations when they were kidnapped (all schools in Borno had been closed due to insecurity in the state)

     

3. Nigeria's insurgent group Boko Haram has claimed responsibility for the abduction.

4. The girls are teenagers between the ages of 16-18.

5. The men dressed in military uniforms and carted the girls away in trucks.

6. Mothers who could take it no longer, started the protests, crying before state and government houses. 

  

7. It started as an ordinary hashtag on twitter to bring the world to focus on the girls and find ways to rescue them.

8. There have been protests in different parts of Nigeria and all over the world. People who have no ties with Nigeria are standing with us.

 

9. Among the girls that were kidnapped were Christians and Muslims from different parts of the country.

10. The girls are allegedly being held hostage in the thick Sambisa Forest in Borno State.

11. The international media has been very active in the rescue mission to find the girls and they are going the whole 9 yards.

12. The United States of America, United Kingdom and France are some of the countries that have offered to help Nigeria in the rescue mission.

13. Some people still believe that the girls were never kidnapped and that it's all a scam.

14. There has been emotional breakdown in some quarters due to the delicacy of the issue.

15. Some of the girls managed to run away when the men came to abduct the girls from the school while others escaped when the truck broke down along the way.

16. There have been unconfirmed  reports about how the girls have been married off to other countries, how they are raped daily e.t.c. 

17. Amnesty international claims that the Nigerian military headquarters had prior knowledge (4 hrs advance warning) of the abduction but they failed to act.

18. There is intense pressure on the Nigerian government by the international community to find the girls.

19. Celebrities from all walks of life have endorsed the hashtag asking for the safe return of the girls to their homes.

20. The Nigerian Police Force has offered a #50,000,000 reward to anyone with useful information on Boko Haram and their activities 

21. The girls are our sisters, daughters, future wives and mothers. 

#BringBackOurGirls is not just about the girls, it's an accumulation of the frustrations of citizens in recent times. The land is no more green. It is now red with tears, pain and grief. Nigeria is in the spotlight now for all the wrong reasons. Our leaders have been brandished as corrupt by international media and there is little or nothing we can do about it. The only way to salvage the already lost image of the country is to find those girls and bring them back home. 

Some people have taken advantage of the hashtag for their selfish interest, lets remind them that the fight Is not about us but about our future as a nation. The atmosphere in the country at the moment is so thick, you could cut through it with a scissors. Learn to speak with wisdom because things you say (or do not say) may be taken out of context and used against you.

Don't stop the message. Tell somebody to tell somebody that we want our girls back. In faith and hope, we pray that they would be returned safely to the loving arms of their parents.

#BRINGBACKOURGIRLS

*Photo Credit: twitter, google.

*STATE OF THE NATION is a series that discusses issues that affect us as a nation. 

MARKET BLISS

Dear Diary,

The Venue was Yaba Market, Lagos and the time was 10:50 a.m

It was a typical Thursday morning after environmental sanitation. Puddles of water on the road following the slight drizzle early in the day. Some sellers were dusting their wares and praying over them while others were discussing with fellow market sellers about issues that were obviously dear to them.

Approaching the end of the market, sounds of drums and pianos were heard. Moving forward the sounds become clear and you would think there was a new church in Yaba market. Still, you are wrong.

A clearer look into the market shows you a group of young men, some dressed in traditional outfits and others in cooperate outfits. There were Bata Drums, a piano, tambourine, timbales and other locally made music instruments. It was not a church as earlier proposed but a praise and worship session. The sound produced by the combination of those instruments was truly music to the ears.

Chanting "ku sai anointing...", they danced with so much energy that onlookers thought they were high on drugs. They danced so well and hard, people started murmuring that they must have taken narcotic drugs to be that energetic. This got me thinking; can a human being perform well at something without people attaching it to drugs? Is the human body not wired to perform well? Answers will be provided in another post.

This praise and worship session kept on springing surprises because midway into the session, they announced it was time for offering. This further confirmed the fact that a church is not a building but the people in it. Surprisingly, people started dancing forward to drop their offerings. 

The happiness on the faces of the performers and onlookers was heart warming. A woman even came and took over the drumming of the wooden drum. I just stood there smiling, imagining how it must have started for them. Maybe they were brothers with no formal musical training but still they could give some musicians a run for their money. 

At the end of it, they prayed over the offering, the market and their businesses. Sharing the grace, they prayed for friends and family.

What did the Young Black woman go to do in the market? What every young girl goes to do there... :p

P.S: what's #BringBackOurGirls all about? Find out in the next Post.

SOMETIME IN APRIL...

Dear diary,

The month of April is over. Where is 2014 running to? A lot has happened in April and I think it's worth recapping. From the heavy rains that looked like we were experiencing an eclipse, to the heat that would make you want to go without clothes, April has been more than just your regular month.

In the first week of April, we were greeted with the news of the death of a Medical doctor in the US. She was shot by her husband in their house at about 3a.m. While some people think it's not worth reporting, it's only a remainder that violence is gradually gripping our society. Whatever the circumstances surrounding the murder, mothers should start training sons that would protect their wives and families and not turn them to opponents in the boxing ring. Oscar Pistorius is still undergoing trial for allegedly shooting his girlfriend in their house. My outrage following this ugly incident has been summarized in the Love is not enough post, feel free to read again.

So we woke up on a Monday morning to people crying and wailing following the Bomb blast that rocked the Nyanya Motor park in Abuja. It occurred at about 6:50 a.m and buses were blown up, bodies were dismembered, chaos everywhere! The explosion left over 80 people dead and hundreds of people injured. May God comfort the bereaved families and grant the deceased eternal rest. 

 

Weddings in high places graced the month of April. Faith sakwe, president Jonathan's first daughter married her beau, Godswill Edwards; Former Vice-president, Atiku Abubaker's son married his fiancée, Mariana; Tiwa savage is now officially Mrs Balogun having signed the dotted lines with her hubby, Mr Balogun. Yours truly is wishing them a lifetime of happiness and peace coupled with beautiful babies.

Nigeria had a health scare this month. Ebola outbreak was announced and it's occurrence has been reported in Nigeria's border countries. While no incidence has been reported in Nigeria (yet), we have been advised to watch out for its symptoms i.e headaches, fever, muscle pain, sore throat e.t.c. Ebola is a deadly disease and it has no cure at the moment. All fever like symptoms should be taken to the doctor and not be waved off as malaria. We should also avoid eating bush meat or at least boil them properly before eating.

In the early hours of the 15th of April, over 200 girls were kidnapped from a secondary school in Chibok, Borno state. Schools in the north had been shut down following rising insecurities and the girls only returned to school to prepare for their W.A.E.C examination. The abductors arrived in the night under the disguise of the Nigerian Army and carted the girls away in their trucks. While some of the girls managed to escape when the truck broke down along the way, many others are still being held hostage in the thick Sambisa Forest. These are teenage girls, our sisters, daughters and future mothers, we can only imagine what they are going through. Parents are going berserk because the situation has left them helpless.  We pray and hope that they'll be found soon.

Still on Tuesday April 15, a ferry carrying about 459 people in South Korea, capsized over the coast rendering about 200 missing and others dead. The ferry was on its way to the Island of Jeju. Some bodies have been found and others are still unaccounted for. 

The Malaysian plane is still missing, 40 days after and no clue in sight. The national CONFAB IS still ongoing and the dramatic Oscar Pistorius trial is still gaining momentum.

Watching sometime in April as a child sent shivers down my spine. Thinking about it now, it's like the events from that movie are slowly becoming a reality. April holds a lot of memories for us both as individuals and as a nation. While some are regrettable, we are thankful for others. It's clear that the sad parts are more, but we can only hope for a better time in May.

HAPPY NEW MONTH!!!

Photo Credit: Google, Bella Naija.

STATE OF THE NATION: A CASE OF THE UMBRELLA AND THE BROOM

Dear diary,

          

Not a few people woke up to the sound of shattering glass and blasts; breaking news tweets and lamentations on Monday morning. Nyanya bus park in Abuja had been Bombed!

The sad incident which claimed more than 75 lives and left over 120 others injured, has continued to receive comments and reactions from various parts of the world. In our dear country, the usual 'I condemn' speech is being delivered by various leaders and factions. Aggrieved citizens are on social media bemoaning the loss of brothers and sisters, wondering when all these will end.

The blame game is also on. The masses are blaming the leaders and the leaders are trading blames. The national publicity secretary of the Umbrella carrying party, has come out to say that specific persons in the Broom sweeping opposition are responsible for the incessant attacks on the country. As is expected, his counterpart in the accused party has also responded calling it a poor attempt by the ruling party to score cheap Political points. That has been the case of our security as a nation in recent times, going back and forth, nobody is taking responsibility for anything.

As they trade blames, the masses are watching, no solution is being provided. If the umbrella carriers know the people responsible for the attacks, shouldn't they go after them instead of coming to the public to say so? If the opposition has an answer to these attacks, shouldn't it in the spirit of one Nigeria, lend a helping hand to the government? Why must we always politicize issues in our dear country?

The blast that happened on April 14 happens almost on a daily basis in places like Borno, Maiduguri and Yobe. Nobody even bats an eyelid to the attacks anymore because it's like a norm. How many more people must die before a lasting solution is found?

Let us drop our umbrellas and stop sweeping. The umbrella will not stop the rain of attacks and the broom will not sweep away the terrorists. Among the people that died on monday were christians, muslims, the rich, the poor, men, women and children. It's an attack on all of us as a nation. Our unity and resolve to end these attacks will put us on the path to victory.

Is there only one terrorist group in Nigeria? Are foreign terrorist groups involved in these attacks? Are we sure that the attacks will not continue if power changes hands in 2015? If the so called terrorists are Muslims and they want to destroy the country, why should they start from their homes?

Until we can answer these questions truthfully, we are a long way from overcoming this.

May the labour of our heroes past, who toiled and strived for this nation, never be in vain.

SOMETIMES, LOVE IS NOT JUST ENOUGH!

Dear diary,

It has been passed on from generation to generation that love conquers all. While this is true to an extent, sometimes love is not just enough reason for us to do some of the things we do.

Take for instance, a girl in a relationship with a man that hits her when he is angry or when she has done something wrong (that's usually the excuse they give). You know he beats women but still you walk into that marriage with both eyes open. You say that he loves you and will change after marriage, really?! You are 6 feet under now after he beat you to death and all you are left with is flowers by your grave side.

You are carrying the sickle cell trait and you are engaged to a fellow carrier. You are aware that this union may bring forth kids that will be sicklers, yet you go ahead because you are in love. Will you both remember "love" when you are shouting on yourselves in the hospital during another crises of your 9 year old child, blaming each for what could have been avoided?Sometimes love is not just enough.

She is the "I don't care type", never showed the slightest inkling of even being a home maker. She always reiterated the fact that she is not the take home to mama type but you believed she would change. Now you are lying on the hospital bed with hemi-paresis after you collapsed during one of your shouting bouts with her. Is it really worth it? You lived over 30 years of your life with no troubles and in 2 years you ended up in the hospital with paralysis. Is love really enough to walk downhill? 

You are a workaholic. Momma raised you to work hard and save money. Suddenly, you meet Mr TDH that can't fend for himself and he is feeding off you. From hundreds, to thousands, to millions, to being in charge of one of your bank accounts. He has run away now with your money and all you have left is "love". 

Don't get it twisted, love is a beautiful thing. The butterflies in your tummy and the slow music playing in the background every time you see that person, is enough to make you go gaga.  In the midst of all these, you need stay in touch with reality. The good book says Love your neighbor as you love yourself. I'm sure you love yourself enough not to inflict pain and torture upon yourself so why would you allow another person do so to you?

We are all susceptible to love and it can happen to anybody, anytime and anywhere. It is of utmost importance that we understand that love is not enough to make some of the decisions that we do. Sometimes we end up regretting them and had I known becomes the song. 

Love is hopeful, it never loses faith. Remember that faith is shown by our  actions. If you love someone that pummels you every time, you can give him space or even recommend him a psychologist that will walk him through it (if he is willing to change). These are some of the actions that show true love.

Love is not enough reason to turn a blind eye to all the glaring signs. In fact, it should be the reason why you look for such signs and try to correct them. If they cannot be corrected, love is not enough to just walk over them. If you truly love them, you'll let them go so nobody gets hurt at the end.

Don't take your heart on a journey without your brain. Love with your heart, think with your head.

SELECTIVE DISABILITY

Dear diary,

In anger management, a lot of theories have been proposed. Some have worked while others are still hanging in the balance. Let me introduce you to the latest theory in town, the SELECTIVE DISABILITY THEORY:

"If you want to manage your anger effectively, you must choose to be selectively blind, deaf, dumb and handicapped to all the infuriating situations that you would normally yield to."

This is a theory by yours truly and it is up for discuss anywhere and anytime, so let's discuss it.

Being disabled means being unable to perform one or more natural activities due to an illness, injury, etc. Being selectively disabled means 'choosing' not to perform those natural actions you would normally do. Let's say you live with people that do things that make you angry. You know those people that practically live to see you angry (let's call them troublemakers), those ones that would do anything to frustrate you. There is a tendency to always give them what they are asking for. You may be tempted to shout at them or even beat them up thereby hurting yourself in the process. There are number of ways to avoid these situations and they include:

Selectively Blind: whenever you see the troublemaker doing things that will annoy you, turn a blind eye to it. Let's say not flushing the toilet after use, just train yourself to always flush the toilet whenever you enter the bathroom. Whether a mess was made or not, just flush the toilet. That way you see nothing and you are angry about nothing.

Selectively Deaf: you know those troublemakers that like to talk and talk and talk (people that nag). They talk about the tiniest things that could be ignored. Men that live with such women may be tempted to react either by word or action and the end therein is not pretty. When they start talking, just become deaf to it all. You hear the words but your brain will choose not to process them and that way, you won't be pushed to react. In the heat of it all, you can choose to remember the beautiful memories you have of life and that way you would not be in that room. Your physical body may be there but your mind is somewhere better.

Selectively Dumb: maybe you skipped the being selectively deaf part and now your brain has processed the words and you want to react, please do not yield. You know those masking tapes kidnappers put on their victims mouths, yeah you are going to need an invisible one if you want to manage your anger. If the invisible one doesn't work, the physical one will. Choose to keep your lips together and avoid talking even when you are pushed to. It may look like you are weak or stupid but be rest assured that on the intelligence scale, you are way above them.

Selectively Crippled: so they have shouted and done things that infuriated you. You have taken as much as you can and you can no longer bear it. You just want to rush over them and punch them in the face or you just want to destroy something. These actions can only be achieved if you move towards them. So why don't you just stay put or walk away from them? What is the worst that could happen if you refuse to move towards them? Absolutely nothing! Instead you will be calm.

Anger management is for mature minds, people that are willing to take control of their minds. To be successful in managing your anger, you must choose not to react even when you are pushed to. Even if nothing drives you away from such situations at least remember how you feel after shouting or fighting and making a scene, surely it is not a pretty sight.

Wisdom is profitable to direct. In managing your anger, there is a new option made available to you; be SELECTIVELY DISABLED!

MARCHING ON...

Dear diary,

The month of March is almost over. It's been a month of many feelings. A lot of things happened this month and a little recap will help us to be thankful.

 

The National immigration Recruitment exercise took place on the 15th of this month in various centers across the nation. A stampede occurred in some centers and people were terribly injured while some died in the process. The minister of interior has finally taken responsibility for the mishap that day. We can only hope that the government has learnt from that tragedy and that steps would be taken to avoid such reoccurrence in future. Bereaved families were compensated with automatic employment but we know it is not enough. May God comfort them and give them peace.

Zara Gretti has gone to rest. After battling Multiple sclerosis for over one year, she finally gave up on the 28th of March. She was a fighter and she fought to the very end. The 28 yr old singer always told the world that MS would never take her life and dreams but the Grim reaper struck when we least expected. Zara, sleep well in The Lord. There's no more pain.

The National conference is underway and we are hoping it will yield results that will move this nation forward. We have been stagnant for too long and it's important that we do something about it. Delegates were selected from all over the country to deliberate on issues bothering the nation. One of the delegates passed away after battling with an illness, may his soul rest in peace.

       

Love is in the air!!! Marriages, proposals et all headlined the month of March. Older half of Psquare, Peter Okoye married his heartthrob; Benny Ark of Cool Fm Abuja married Ese Walter; Tinsel's Kwame Mensah proposed to Damilola Adegbite; Adanna Ohakim got married to her 'udo' and many others. I wish you all a happy married life with beautiful babies.

      

We also celebrated the Diary Bloggiversary. Madam at the top celebrated her birthday and also made some changes. The Diary BBM Channel is now live (search: The diary of a young black woman) join so we can have fun. Culinary skills are getting better spreading across the 7 seas and all I can say is le rib finder is one lucky chap.

     

A House of Horror was discovered in Soka, Ibadan. People that had been kidnapped since 2008 and even 4 months ago were discovered. They were fed once a week and they became week and aged fast. The house had been there since but nobody knew what was happening inside. Human skulls and remains were also found in that place. The police has started investigations and we hope that it'll yield results.

        

 

A Malaysian plane, MH370 that was going to Beijing vanished into thin air. On the 8th of March, the passenger plane with 239 people on board went missing. Hearing that story sent shivers down my spine because I can only imagine the pain the relatives of the passengers must be going through. 14 days after, the Malaysian government declared that the plane plunged into the Indian Ocean. All passengers and crew in board, died. Very sad! Search is still ongoing for debris from the plane.

Other events worth recapping include the Road traffic accident on the Benin-ore highway, BokoHaram struck in some schools again, we lost veterans et many more. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, Rest in peace, AMEN.

This recap was not done to make you feel sad but only to remind you that whatever you are going through, the fact that you are alive is enough for you to be happy. Tomorrow is another day, believe and it will work out well for you.

Our father in heaven took us through March despite all it's challenges. Marching on into April, We are trusting him for a beautiful month.

HAPPY NEW MONTH!!!

P.s Don't fall for the April fool pranks :)

YES, SHE IS 2!

Dear diary,

     

Into her diary she writes

Memoirs of her earthly strides

Yes, she is 2

She is growing too

Going to war with the word

The diary is her sword 

Yes, she is 2

She is saying thank you

Y'helloooooo!!!!!! 

Its the 2nd year anniversary of the diary and this post is just in order. I couldn't make up my mind on whether to write or not but seeing that you are reading it now, you can guess my decision.

The journey so far has been fulfilling. There were some days of blank pages in the diary and even days of epistles, still I'm thankful. To the diary fans (table and ceiling fans) thank you is not enough. Using your precious data to open this diary every other day makes me happy. 

It's more than a blog, it's a diary. It's for us to come and read when we are happy or sad. It provides some form of comfort and just gives me that needed smile when I'm down, I hope it does the same to you. We learn from sharing our daily experiences on this earthly journey and this diary helps to put them in writing so we can always read.

Starting as a zygote, it became an embryo. I nurtured it in my mind as a fetus and today, it's a 2 year old baby. I hope to train it as a child and watch it grow and blossom. Somebody asked me when it will start going to school...lol. Keep your fingers crossed people, it just might happen.

Birthday shindig on yours truly, see y'all at Sheraton.

MOTIVATIONAL MOTIVATIONS

Dear diary,

You must have heard of them, you must have attended them. Motivational motivations abound in the land. You must have seen the  posters of these seminars where people where invited to speak and 'speak' they did. Titles of these seminars vary and may include; 10 steps to success; Being the perfect leader; Wife  material 101, A dreamer today, a doer tomorrow; From FATima to THINa, the list is endless!

We all listen, nod our heads, say the hmmms and ahhhhs, we start planning and dreaming of our next big step but the moment we leave that place, the whole thing flies out of our heads. What transpires between the seminar and the outside world, that is powerful enough to kill the once motivated spirit? Occasionally the thought arises out of the blues in your head but you quickly shove it aside because you think it's impossible.

I also enjoy attending these seminars but what puzzles me is the way we human beings refuse to change even after we have literally been flogged with more than enough word to motivate us. Some of us are so stagnant that it would take a crane to move us. The speakers at these seminars often give rhymes while teaching such that you wonder if they are rappers on the side. Words like you have to perspire to aspire so you can inspire....

And the crowd screams in excitement.

For some people, it's almost a way of life. You attend motivational seminars every week and nobody is seeing any change. Some even play the audio messages everyday, still nothing. What are you then learning? Weight loss, success and the likes most times require motivation and if there's no motivation, it may not come to fruition.

You have heard the message, you have taken down the notes, now it's time to put them into action. Since you have taken the pain (or transport money, as the case may be) to attend these programs you may as well do yourself the favor of trying them out. Fear is one of the greatest obstacles following motivation. Will it work? Can I do it? How will I do it? Is it possible? These questions will never be answered if you don't act.

This post is another motivational motivation. Yes, I am motivating you to be motivated. I hope you have been motivated to move because the best form of motivation is self-motivation.

If you don't motivate yourself, no one will!