C is for CHANGE

Dear diary,

Choosing a topic for letter C was quite tasking for me, I had to choose between charity and change. After much deliberation, I decided to stick with change.

After a long deliberate break from watching the Kardashians, I recently decided to watch an episode and see what’s been happening with them. It was quite an emotional episode as some of the K sisters were in tears. Apparently, the man they had always taken as their father Bruce Jenner, was becoming a woman. In this particular episode, he was explaining to them about how he always wanted to come out of his shell (being a man) for so many years but he couldn’t because he wanted to be there for them as a father. He told them that he needed their support  now that he wanted to become the woman he was born to be. The girls were crying but at the end of it all, they decided to support him. Not all of them understood his reasons but they had to accept it; their 66 year old father was going to be a woman and there was nothing they could do about it.

Moving from the status quo to something else is my own little way of describing Change. It may not be a huge difference from where you were but as long as you are not in that particular position or situation you were in before, that’s change.

Change may come in various forms; it may be positive or negative and that’s the unique thing about it. For the Kardashians, change has come and they have to accept it. The human mind has an undying thirst for change when it has been buried in a realm of static energy. We saw this thirst during the campaign for the President of the United States of America, Barack Obama and we also saw it during President Buhari’s campaign. There’s something exciting about change that makes people look forward to it even though they are not sure of what it may bring.

Isn’t it ironic that the only constant thing in life is change? For you to move forward in life, you have to change something. If you refuse change, you can’t move forward. The change you seek might not be what you get but as long as you have made an attempt to move, that’s a step forward. Mistakes may happen but be rest assured you’ll learn from them. I’ve met people who are terrified of change and honestly, you can’t help but feel sorry for them. The world doesn’t revolve around you and if you refuse to move forward, you will be left behind. Not every change is good but that’s where wisdom comes to play. As an adult, you should be able to sieve the wheat from the chaff.

People change and circumstances change but you have to live with it and move forward. If you are willing, you can choose the type of change you want. A lot of relationships are in a quagmire today and the story most times is the same; its either one person has changed or the other person has refused to change, if you are tired of how things are, why don’t you invoke the spirit of change in your relationship? I don’t mean you should change your partner but you can change your attitude to certain things and watch the wind of positive  transformation whirl around you. 

Change begins on the inside and manifests outwardly. Don’t be afraid of change, try something new today 😊

I'll leave you with the words of a great poet, philosopher and author from ancient china;

  "Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality, let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”- LAO TZU

 

B is for BEAUTY

Dear diary,

Have you ever heard a man in love talk about his partner's beauty and you are like "really? let me see a picture." You look at the picture and smile sheepishly at him while saying to yourself "oh common, gerrarahia!"  Well, in the words of the late Michael Jackson, you are not alone.

Beauty has been defined over the years by various ideologies and opinions. What remains constant in it's definition is that people tend to tie it down to physical attraction. It's kind of weird when you bring someone that is not attractive physically and you expect people to say that that person is beautiful. That's like shooting yourself in the foot.

Beauty defines the qualities that a person possesses that makes them pleasing to the senses or the mind. What's beautiful to you may not necessarily be so to me. Hence the saying, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. It depends on who is looking. You often wonder why people that are not physically attractive end up with drop dead gorgeous people but only the people in the relationship can understand. The beautiful lady may have married the not so physical attractive man because he possesses some qualities that would last forever. It only takes maturity to understand that physical attraction fades but qualities like kindness, charity and meekness last forever. The guy looks lucky in the relationship but the girl knows that she the one living with a gold medal.

Don't always assume that someone must have done a ritual or visited a native doctor just to be involved with a beautiful person, it's only the people on the football pitch that can understand the dynamics of the game. Peer pressure or should I say youthful exuberance, has pushed us to believe that beauty is only defined by physical features and by this, many have lost out on a whole lot. People marry for physical attractions and a year after they are divorced because they found out they married a physically attractive empty container. 

If you are physically attractive and you are also attractive on the inside, that's a major plus for you. You are like diamond in a rough. If you know that you are not physically attractive, there are ways to make up for it. You can be beautiful on the inside and that would reflect on the outside. Please don't let society's immature definition of beauty deny you the pleasure of being yourself. Beauty can only be appreciated by the beholder. 

On a side note, I've always wondered why girls in the clubs are picked up by strangers and they are happy to go home with them. These strangers tease them about their beauty that only they can see but then I realized that the saying is true;

Beauty indeed, is in the eyes of the be(er) holder.

A is for ATTITUDE

Dear diary,

"Your attitude sucks!"

I'm sure I'm not the first person telling you this so please don't contort your face. Okay, maybe I started this the wrong way, let me start over.

Growing up, I was quite reserved. I was that little girl that'll walk into a room and just sit by herself, observing everything and everyone. I was okay with it until I found out that people mistook my quietness and shyness for pride. You can imagine my facial expression during one of our confession nights in high school when one of my friends said to me "I never really liked you at the beginning, I thought you were one very proud and spoilt girl that felt too big to talk to people." Little me that couldn't talk to people because of my shyness, was being portrayed as a peacock. It didn't bother me then but I got to understand that even if that wasn't my true character, people had already concluded on my attitude. 

According to the Mariam Webster English Dictionary, Attitude has 3 major definitions

-the way you think and feel about someone or something

-a feeling or way of thinking that affects a person's behavior

-a way of thinking and behaving that people regard as unfriendly, rude, etc.

So basically, attitude has to deal with thinking, feeling and behaving. 

People describe an attitude based on observation (or assumption) of a particular character. They must have seen a particular behavior, thought about it and concluded on how to describe it. It's sort of like a gabbage in, gabbage out system. They can only conclude on your attitude after observing you in action. The sad thing is that even if you acted out of anger or frustration, people do not care. They just place that bad attitude tag on your forehead and walk away, after-all, first impression maters.

Your attitude helps people to know who you are. Take for instance, you are meeting someone for the first time. In this day and age that gist flies around like a mosquito, he/she would have done a background check on you so as to know you better. If the word about town is that you have a bad attitude, the person comes for that meeting being on the offensive, waiting to attack.

Attitude is fueled by thoughts. In his book, As a man thinketh, James Allen rightfully related thought and character. 

"Thought and character are one, and as character can only manifest and discover itself through environment and circumstance, the outer conditions of a person's life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state."

Your attitude also helps you to discover who you are. You may not know certain things about yourself that are not right until someone says something to you about it. The only way someone can notice something about you is through your attitude. Don't always contort your face when someone says something about your attitude. Sit back and think about what has been said. If you think it's true, you change for the better. If you think they are wrong about you, then send it to the wind. People will always talk, but everybody cannot be wrong at the same time. Your attitude says a lot about who you are.

Take a moment to sit back and think again because there may be a modicum of truth when someone walks up to you and says, 

"Your attitude sucks!"

HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR ALPHABETS?

Dear diary,

*insert Joey's voice* how you doing? 😉

It's been a while I wrote in the diary and it's because I couldn't find my pen (pen means a lot of things right now so feel free to go with whatever makes you happy). I've found the pen now and I'm ready to start writing again. 

During my search for the pen, I discovered a lot things that I haven't discussed with you guys such as virtues, ideas and the likes. I've compiled a list of them and I'm going to be sharing them alphabetically. 

The first post goes up tomorrow. Each letter of the alphabet would be used to discuss a word (or words) for each day. Don't worry, you're not in a kindergarten class. There would be 3 posts up every week. As usual, tell a friend to tell a friend to visit the diary, it promises to be interesting. We all would be learning something new.

Live, learn, love.

NIGERIA HAS DECIDED (2)

Dear diary, 

From my last post, you now have an idea of how the election process went. I'm sure you want to know what the outcome was. After voting, what's next? This post will answer your question.

According to the INEC chairman, Professor Attahiru Jega, the results of the election would be announced within 48 hrs of the voting process. The results were not announced 48 hours after but the coalition process had begun. The hours that followed the voting process were probably the longest hours ever for most Nigerians. People were having palpitations and blood pressures were skyrocketing. Up until the 28th of March this year, some Nigerians had no idea that local tv stations existed on their decoders. But following the elections of that day, come and see them flipping through local tv stations like it was going out of fashion. They were even the ones breaking news from tv stations on social media. Weekly TV series and Nollywood movies took the back seat as Nigerians became Political analysts; analyzing what was and what wasn't.

Prof. Jega announced that the cumulated result from each state would be announced live on tv from 12 noon the following Monday. As a result of that announcement, shops and offices closed (that's if they even opened) very early that day. Everybody was rushing home just to watch Prof. Jega live on tv, announcing the result of the election. 

At about 2 pm that day, out first case of Jega timing was diagnosed. He didn't start at noon as he said but no one cared. He was on seat already at the INEC national coalition centre, Abuja, so it was only a matter of minutes before the results would be announcesd and we could return to our regular lives. When the live broadcast started, he apologized for the delay and he informed us that the whole process may take about 10-12 hours. We didn't mind, we were willing to wait. And so the coalition process began. 

Each state had an electoral officer usually a current or former vice chancellor of a university. It was interesting seeing renowned professors and lecturers fumble in public. People had to ask if these set of people were the same people wielding the magic stick over peoples destinies in the university. It just made me appreciate the fact that no human being is perfect. 

About 14 political parties took part in the 2015 presidential elections and when the results from a particular state are to be announced, the electoral officer would call out the parties with their results simultaneously, in their alphabetical order. This process took about 36 hours. 

How is the winner decided? 

1. Total number of votes 

2. More than 25% of votes in a state

Before the coalition process was over, Nigerians already knew who the winner was. What a dramatic evening it was as the streets were filled with celebrations. Chants of "sai baba, sai Buhari" rented the air. 

The fireworks in the sky that night reminded me of New Year's Eve. In a bid to ensure peace, the sitting president Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, called the president-elect, Gen. Mohammed Buhari to congratulate him. That singular act by the president was welcomed by most people as a sign of peace.

The 2015 general elections would be a memorable one for a long time to come. With all the negativity and unfavorable circumstances that surrounded it, it still came out successful. I'm happy I witnessed it all. It's my turn to tell my grandchildren about the famous 2015 elections!

I'll leave you with a quote from Prof. Attahiru Jega; 

P.s: I do appreciate the effort put in by Channels television during the election. Period. Tremendous work!

Picture credit: google, @bayoomoboriowo, twitter.

NIGERIA HAS DECIDED

Dear diary,

In my last post here, I talked about the upcoming General elections. Well, the elections have come and gone but the memories from that day would be taught in our children's History classes. I'm glad I witnessed a "proper" election in Nigeria and I can proudly say Nigeria has decided. The governing election body in Nigeria, Independent National Electronic Commission (INEC), had a humongous task before them and they delivered to an appreciable degree. From PVC's to Card Reader System, this election had something different about it. As usual, yours truly has prepared a photoblog for you just so you can relish the happy moments and not so happy moments from the just concluded Presidential elections. Sit back, crunch those biscuits and enjoy as you read.

The voting process was billed to start at 8:00 am but trust Nigerians and their Jega African timing. While some of the INEC ad hoc staff arrived on time, others arrived their polling units at the close of day. In all of this, Nigerians were surprisingly patient. Nobody wanted to move. They waited around the polling unit until the ad hoc staffs arrived and began the accreditation process. 

This was the first time the card reader system was used in Nigeria. Even though there were some glitches at the beginning, they eventually found a way around it. This system really played a great part in ensuring the success of the election. I only hope that INEC will improve on it so as to ensure a smooth election process. 

As the day progressed, the heavens opened up and showered blessings on Nigerians as the stood at their units but they did not move. They were going to cast their vote come rain or shine.

Trust our celebrities to join the train. They also showed up at the polling units with their PVC's, ready to vote.

While others were waiting in line to be accredited, a couple at a polling unit in Surulere, Lagos got engaged. We couldn't see fancy wedding pictures that Saturday because all weddings were put on hold but at least we got an engagement photo. Congratulations!

The streets were empty! Those that couldn't come out to vote (due to lack of PVC or out of fear) stayed indoors. It was a case of "don't look for trouble and it wouldn't find you."

The most exciting thing for me was seeing elderly people come out to cast their vote. These people witnessed the civil war (with all its woes and throes) and still believe in Nigeria. So much that they had to step out of their comfort zone to perform their civic duty. Truly, Nigeria is ours and we are the only ones that can make it better.

Market ended well for some people that day, as they got more than they bargained for. This was a downturn for me; this picture went viral that day courtesy Nigerian twitter and yes, we all asked the same question you are about to ask "How old is this boy? How come he has a PVC?!" Like play, like play, this dude has become a celeb

People of all walks of life came out to cast their vote. 

Leaders that lead! The candidates that were running for the Presidential seat turned up early at their polling units and casted their votes. Trust the paparazzi, always ready!

Body no be firewood! The security operatives were commendable that day, even though Mother Nature tried to get the best of some of them e.g this guy.

Some polling units conducted elections into the wee hours of the morning due to late arrival and logistic problems. Trust Nigerians and their accomodating spirit. They brought out chairs, pure water and light snacks just to make each other comfortable. 

Some polling units had to move their voting process to the next day. At the end of the day, quite a number of registered voters were able to cast their vote. 

What was the outcome of the voting process? Who won the elections? How were the votes counted? When was the result announced? These and many more questions would be answered in the 2nd part of this post. Watch this space! 😊

Picture credit: Google images, Instagram, Twitter, Mr Bayo Omoboriowo (Talented photographer!) and my lovely BBM contacts :)

NIGERIA DECIDES

Dear diary,

Eku ipalemo election ooo...

How are you faring this election period? It's only a few hours left until Nigerians decide who will lead the country for the next four years. Are you ready to vote? I hope you have your Permanent voters card and you are ready to make your voice heard. While we count down to #NigeriaDecides, let's take a look at some of the words that have lost meaning to a lot of people because of how they've been overused.

The masses: the masses this! The masses that! If I didn't know any better, I would have thought it was a family name in one village setting like that in a Nollywood movie. The masses, which in dictionary terms refers to 'ordinary people' has been overused such that even first class citizens that may never experience (even in their dreams) what the real masses are going through are also claiming masses. *sigh*

The North: at first, I thought it was stories about Kanye's daughter, North, making the rounds as usual but I was wrong. Since this election brouhaha, the north had gained more publicity than it had during the days of bombings and unrest. While some people have been using the north to score cheap political points, others have made the north the butt of their jokes in recent times. Some people talk about the north as if it's one island in Mars that they'll never have anything to do with. I hope when it hits home, you'll remember that the 'north' is in your own country, right under your very nose. 

Permanent voters card (PVC):  it sounds like a pass for a cool kids club. People put up pictures of their PVC's on Instagram and twitter with captions like: #GotmyPVC #readytovote #ilookcutetho #Fyngyalnopimples #Okbye i understand that it's a way of encouraging people to go get theirs but I hope these people actually make use of the card tomorrow. That's the only reason it was made, not for likes on instagram.

Violence: Everyone is talking about it. So many hashtags on one word; #sayNOtoviolence  #Peacenotviolence e.t.c. The irony of it is that some of the people trending the hashtags are also inciting violence with their words such that you have to ask yourself "errr.. What does violence mean again?!"

Election: well that's the business on ground at the moment. It is the reason you are reading this post. I agree it has to be over flogged but people are taking it to far. To a child, Election now sounds like a big party where celebrities are coming to perform, like an event where there'll be paparazzi's and all. Don't get it twisted, it's the act of choosing someone for a public office by voting. Start sensitizing the young ones on it's importance now so they'll be fully aware of their rights once it's their turn to vote.

Change: this particular word has to be the unanimous winner. Until November last year, the word Change didn't mean anything out of the ordinary, it was just a regular word used when you wanted your balance of transport fare paid to the conductor of a Danfo in Lagos. All that has changed now. Ask anybody, I mean turn to the person seated next to you and ask "what word has been used the most during this election period?" Yeah, your guess is as good as mine. One thing I'm sure of is that there'll be change when the results are announced. I just hope it'll be change for good.

Stock up: this one just came in last minute. People keep shouting "stock up! Buy stuff! You don't want to go hungry." and you have to remind them that it's just an election and not the Third World War. 

There you have it ladies et gents, hopefully these words would return to their actual meanings when this election season is over. Please go out and vote tomorrow, may the best man win. Don't lord your opinions over anyone. One man, one vote! 

"To keep Nigeria one, is a task that must be done!"

Pic credit: my able BBM contacts :)

P.S: please share if there are other words you feel have been overused.

3RD BLOGGIVERSARY

Dear diary,

On March 15, 2012, I published my first post on this blog; The Man in the mirror. I was quite skeptical about what the response would be like until someone said to me 2 days later, "madam blogger, I like your post o" lol. 89 posts later and it's our 3rd Bloggiversary. Thank you for reading my posts these past 3 years. Your comments (criticisms and words of encouragement) only made the blog better. I know the posts have not been as frequent as they ought to be in recent times but that would change in a little while. I hope to do more in the coming years, God willing.

Meanwhile, to celebrate this year's Bloggiversary is a poem titled, A man for all seasons. It's about a girl having different men in her life for all the wrong reasons. Enjoy!

A man for all seasons 

She has a man for attending family weddings

Another, for the annual thanksgivings 

She tells whoever cares to hear, "he's my bestie!"

And they smile in pity for the guy in the friend zone 

She needs a man to stand up for her;

To fight for her and to let her sit

She needs a man to sit down with her;

To remind her of her blue eyes and white teeth

She wants the man that others desire

Just so she could raise their jealous eyebrow

She knows it may end up in a quagmire 

Who cares? Unlike them, she's highbrow

She needs a man for comfort

For the days of weather for two

She needs the other to make the effort 

For the tubers and grains she'll chew

So many men in her life yet no courtship

To fulfill the desires her heart chimes 

She's not yet ready for a relationship

But the wait for Mr right can be tiring sometimes.

Of all the men she's known

she could have married one

But why stick to him alone

when you can have four?

Just like there are different seasons

For each time of the year

She needs a man to give her reasons

To never shed a tear

Photo credit: Google images

Are you still wondering why I had to use a picture of Lynxxx? Hello! It's Lynxxx! ;) 

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

FEBRUARY 15, 2015: THE MORNING AFTER.

Dear Diary, 

Happy new year!!! It's ironic right, saying that on the last day of January. Well, it's never too late to start a new year. I believe that 2015 would be good to us all. The general elections are fast approaching and there's a lot of tension in the air. Yours truly has been watching it all from a distance and she decided to write a post about it. You determine how you'll feel when the elections are finally over. Right your wrongs now so you can smile when it's all over and have no regrets (whether your preferred candidate wins or not). It's fiction and I hope you enjoy as you read.

**************************************************

The sun is shining through the curtains and I can barely look into it. Celebrations are still in the air following yesterday's election. It's funny how the day we anticipated for months has finally gone by. People are off to church to make the first service, surely there would be lots of thanksgiving today. Yesterday was valentine's day right? How could I have forgotten? Even bae couldn't call to tell me sweet nothing's. I can't blame him, we haven't even had time for ourselves lately. He is too engrossed in his pursuit for change and I on the other hand have no will to be involved. Politics found a way to nest itself in our relationship despite how much I tried to stop it. He wanted change and I wanted it too but we wanted it for totally different reasons. I love bae as much as he loves me, so I believe now that this cloud has passed over us, we'll get back together.

When I saw my consultant in a heated argument with a fellow customer at the bank the other day, I couldn't but pray harder for yesterday to come. I mean who could blame him? The rains came and we needed umbrellas to protect us but they didn't do much for us. Even the brooms we thought would be useful in sweeping the country clean has shown to be of almost inferior quality as the umbrella. Who manufactures these things sef? Is it too much to ask for more variants and even better quality of these materials? I'm tired of buying the same things year in, year out. Aren't you tired too? So don't blame me for wanting an ordinary Nigerian to win yesterday's poll. Any change is change abi?

Twitter was crazy yesterday as a number of us were at home on our keypads monitoring the election. Wait, you actually thought we were going to go out and vote? We don't even have our Permanent voters card to start with, talk less of going to stand under that hot sun. I don't need all that vitamin D in my system. Don't even think of given me that "be the change you desire" speech, did you go out to vote?

At least the walls would be free of photoshopped bills of men and women displaying their surreal dentition all in a bid to get votes. My ears would be free of radio jingles of politicians promising the heavens and the earth if I vote for them. I won't mind getting free wifi though, that guy has my heart already. I'm still skeptical about going out today you know. With all those threats that some people were making if their candidate lost, I don't want any form of injury to my beautiful face. Those who lost friendships that were dear to them all because of different political views, I hope you can look yourselves in the face and see how low you've sank. It's the morning after the election and we are still alive, do we drop our grudges against each other or maintain the status quo? 

Look back from the beginning of the year till now and think of all the battles, the blood shed, the insults, the arguments and all that preceded yesterday's elections, were they worth it? The aspirants are still alive today and they are not particularly interested in knowing that some of their supporters died while protecting their interest. 

It's a new day and we now have a president. I think that's all that matters. Iya kemi is downstairs frying her bean cake as usual, so I guess nothing has changed. It's just the day after valentines day. Bae, can I get my valentines gift now? Thanks.

MY VALEDICTORY SPEECH (as written by 2014)

Dear You,

It's with mixed feelings I write this speech. I, 2014, am finally leaving this earth. My stay with you has been quite eventful so I don't know how you would take my departure.

When I came to your house that morning of January 1, you were not at home. Your neighbors told me that you went for the watch night service so I decided to wait. What's the hurry anyway? I was going to be with you for 365 long days. It seemed like eternity at that time but now it has come to an end. I notice you were happy to see me because you thought (or rather, hoped) I brought lots of goodies for you. Well that was my plan too but these things don't always happen the way we plan them.

Through January, Febuary, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November an even December, i watched you struggle to make the most of my stay with you. There were good times between us where you felt on top of the world and there were also bad, even terrible moments where you wished me away. I was there when you cried your eyes out, sitting on the floor because you were tired of me and all the bad luck you felt I brought.

Today, you are smiling as you read this speech not because my stay with you was pleasant and rosy all through, but because you heard that my younger sister is coming tomorrow. Yes, you made a lot of mistakes while I was around but I didn't say anything to you because I wanted you to pick yourself up and learn from them. You feel my sisters presence will make a difference in your life but the truth is there would be no difference if you don't plan towards what you want to achieve during her stay. I saw you writing some things down on a paper last night, things you want to stop doing and things you want to start doing. Well, they look nice and all, like the perfect life I wish for you but I didn't see where you wrote (if you wrote) how you are going to achieve them. Please go back and analyse properly, the steps you would need to take to achieve them.

Hey, don't look too sad, I'm not rebuking you. I just want to make sure I leave you in the right frame of mind to receive my sister. Our father in heaven is sending my sister to you to avail you another opportunity in life. To right the wrongs made during my stay and to see how much you've learnt from the mistakes made. He was there throught my stay with and he's not going anywhere anytime soon. Anytime you feel alone, confused or just want to talk to someone, call his name and he'll be there in the twinkle of an eye. 

I'm happy now to take my leave because more than anything, you've grown in age, strength and mind. You know much more than you knew when my elder sister was around. I trust you to stand firm and weather the storm that may come with my sisters stay with you. Don't expect too much from her but be rest assured she will be good to you.

Till I come alive in your memory some time,

Yours in 365 days,

2.0.1.4

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!