RICH WEDDING, POOR MARRIAGE

Dear diary,

It's another Saturday and it's time to attend yet another wedding... Yay!!. It's time to wear the oleku, velvet and shining lace. Rocking the 8 inches heels, It's time to take pictures with any and every body, picstich it and then post on instagram. It's time to smile at the bride and groom as they walk down the aisle with a new title "latest couple in town". We are going to eat our hearts out from small chops, to pepper soup and the main course----> rice  (if mogbomoyas' don't get there before us) and drink to stupor.  The single lady may find her knight and shinning amour while the bachelor may find the wife material he's been searching for. All these and more are some of the advantages of attending these weddings but do we really know what happens behind all the celebration?

The wedding is the festival/event/ceremony that marks the beginning of a marriage. The marriage is a reality that is meant to come to an end when you die (as we hear when the vow is read -----> till death do us apart). In preparation for the (church) wedding/ nikkah, a lot of pre-wedding events take place e.g the introduction, engagement dinner, bachelor night and bridal shower that is common to all tribes. Some tribes add some spice to their's such as the commiserative polo match done in the north, to the wine carrying and breaking of kola that's done in the east.  Let's not forget the wedding thanksgiving that is equally elaborate as well.

During all these events, the bride is expected to dress like a princess (as this is supposed to be a once in a lifetime thing) and this requires a lot of money. This is no big deal for those that are endowed in their pockets. The bride has to look radiant therefore you can only  marvel (and not complain even if you are hurt) at the amount of money that is pumped into a dress that can only be worn once. The groom is not spared in all of this. You may think "oh, he is just going to wear a suit and tie" but truth is the calibre of attire he decides to wear must match that of his bride. Good thing is that he can wear his again to church or even another wedding.

The couple get married and in 2 years time, we hear they are having issues in the marriage. The wife feels the husband is not compatible because he said he can no longer sponsor the monthly relaxation trip to Zanzibar she normally took as a spinster. The husband suddenly feels threatened because wifey is bringing more money home and it portrays him as a weak man. They can't talk to friends about it because after the pomp and pageantry friends saw during the wedding, husband and wifey must be living in heaven. Ever heard of don't put the cart before the horse? Why spend the money meant for the marriage on the wedding?

Every week, websites, blogs and magazines update their wedding section with pictures from weddings that took place during the weekend. It looks like a competition of some sort because with each week, new ideas (even better ones) are coming out. The reading audience are not absolved because you see comments like "oh, my wedding must beat this" or "lord, you know my heart please send my amour... My wedding must be shown here". You read all these from people that don't even have enough for a court wedding. Ever heard of 'cut your coat according to your size?' Can we blame anybody if at 48 such people are not married because they are waiting for a wedding that will "beat" others?

Yours truly is not a sadist and no, I'm not depressed. I just feel that it can all be done in moderation. If the family wants to make it an elaborate wedding, let it come from their pocket. I've heard of desperate women that use their 9-5 job salary to pay for a wedding dress just to make their friends jealous. You have so much to look forward to in the marriage such as bills and expenses so don't be in a hurry to spend. Enjoy your wedding with the family and friends that care, you don't have to invite Africa to celebrate with you. Some people even go for destination weddings just to cut cost because when mogbomoyas think about the cost of a flight, they'll rather attend the wedding in the next street.

If you have the wherewithal to do an elaborate/ talk of the town wedding that won't put a dent on your pocket, go ahead. If you are still struggling, I suggest you think twice before putting a hole that even tailors can't mend in your pocket. 

If you are trying to beat the wedding I'm about to go for today, it's fine. If you invite me I'll come. Who wants small chops? Holla!